Seems us guys have a bad reputation (well deserved I'm sure). It may be because many contact couples only looking for females or other couples (which can be annoying I'm sure) or just appear too desperate.
So for the couples out there that do want a guy or guys to join in, what is your advice to us guys?
What should a profile have and not have? What do you find refreshing and surprising when you chat to a guy that gives him that special edge?
Just curious as no one couple is the same, but I'm sure there are many points in common
D
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Couples looking for guys - tips for the guys
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Quote by Flirt_007
Just curious as no one couple is the same
^^^ That's the key thing.
Some aren't interested in cock shots. Others want to see cock.
Some want to chat and flirt first. Others want to meet and fuck.
All the things that one couple says turns them off might be an absolute turn on for others.
So you have to READ profiles (or chat in the chatrooms or meet and greets) and try to suss out their desires, and see if they are a match for your own. And if it's clear that you're not what they're looking for, then please leave them alone.
That's just the thing isn't it? What is good for one is a turn off for another.
Shame there isn't a way to acknowledge us guys that do read a profile and respect wishes! I'm sure there would only be a few of us!
I read your profile and noted the part about single guys....shrugged and moved on 
Thanks for the advice!
Thanks for the advice! Quote by Flirt_007
Shame there isn't a way to acknowledge us guys that do read a profile and respect wishes! I'm sure there would only be a few of us!
I read your profile and noted the part about single guys....shrugged and moved on
http://www.swingersheaven.com.au/1brj6RPItGhpLTAT :cool:
hi,,, well 99% of the time I will always read to see what kind of guy they are looking for.. whats the point of saying you are into the same things as them or asking them to meet if you dont meet the profile they want, like saying your bi if your not or saying your a relaxed open minded person if your not or even saying you look like "Imnawty2" when you realy look like a yobbo named stew... you just have to be honest about yourself and except that, you are who you are and that someone will see your good qualitys even if it takes 10 years because... why would you want to go into any kind of relationship with someone who has to lie about themselves and thier credantials 
.... you have to have an awsome memory just to be a very average liar xx cheers
.... you have to have an awsome memory just to be a very average liar xx cheers You are doing the right thing and all advice given is spot on.
Read a couples profile. Everyone is different so set up a few private galleries.
Make your profile pic tastefull and if other couples are into cock pics send them access to that private. If they want to see a face pic give access to that private.
Speaking for ourselves if we get rude or vulgar messages with a cock pic no chance at all.
We even write that in our profile but we still get messages so we know that the guy has not even read our profile.
Well done for doing some planning and best of luck on the site
Also, remember that meeting a couple needs to be an enjoyable experience for both of them. It's not just about you and the lady. Don't be afraid to chat with the guy of the couple. Neither of you may be bi, but he will still want to think that the guy banging his wife is an alright bloke. Often he will want to be involved conversationally, helping you to chat up his wife, showing her off to you, and of course teaming up with you for her pleasure. Many (most?) guys aren't content to sit in the corner jerking off while you go to town on his missus.
It's ridiculous the number of times we have been approached by a single guy in the chat rooms, but when you tell him it's just Mr there right now he instantly stops messaging. Well sorry mate, but if you don't even want to talk to Mr T, you have no hope of getting in to Mrs T's pants. Single guys are so stupid sometimes. It would be much smarter to ingratiate yourself with the male of the couple so that he goes back to his wife saying "Hey, I think you might like this guy - check him out".
Warming the Bed
heyTempted Two, I think you hit the nail on the head mate , I do all (well almost all) the initial contacts with guys and sort those I know Mrs will like and those I know she wont . then she may ring or chat in chatroom with them and we go from there , another thing Mrs likes is a nice picture of the guy in question , not a cock pic , but a nice body pic always works for Her.
Always remember guys that we are being invited into their lives and should show the proper respect, not many women like to be shared and not many guys like sharing their partner so lets show the ones that do that its appreciated. if want some random pussy go find a random woman they are out there....
As you point out it is a couple and I fully expect you will both talk to each other about anyone that stands out. But sometimes I guess I can be a bit awkward trying to talk to another guy about banging his Mrs so to speak. And honestly, I think it is always much better if both of you are joining in...women always seem to have more stamina so teaming up with the husband for her pleasure takes the heat off a little
Thanks for the awesome advice....
Thanks for the awesome advice.... something else not pointed out here ,but which really should be obvious ,,,couples talk to other couples here ,,and about you too,,,,,so should you be lucky enough to be invited by a couple to meet or god willing play and either don't show or show yourself to be a selfish idiot, very, very shortly most others here will know it too and bang there goes all chances you may have had with anyone else
best policy is outright open honesty ,,,
Orgasminator
Well done Flirt_007 and great advice from everyone so far.
Sorry to add confusion to the mix but not all couples state they are looking for single males. That's mainly to stop them being bombarded with messages.
For us, all the single men we've played with we've met at meet & greets. Meeting someone in a social environment with no expectations can lead to the best surprises. As Lonelydad says couples do speak to other couples, as well as single ladies, and we're always happy to recommend great guys that we've met.
A well written profile and manners in the chat room will always score big points.
Good luck with your endeavours, and we'd love to meet you in Melbourne if you're ever here when a meet & greet is on.
Cheers,
Good & Greedy.
Sexlightened
Well we meet the guys we play with in chat, if we like what we see (pics) and what we hear it is just a matter of how long would it take you to get here!!!
This takes us back to a party we went to some time ago. The party was heavy propotioned in the females favour. The party was open to couples, single females and single males, however it was only the single males that had to pay for the invite. Now we knew we were coming to a party that obviously meant couples were bringing the meat to the BBQ metaphorically speaking. The party didn't really work for us, but was primarily due the behaviour of some single males who felt asking permission was optional. Now these parties are advertised on here and other adult sites. Meet and greets are another way to meet couples, sometimes you can alter ones perception just by meeting them face to face.
The Bays
Genuine people can find no better way of sorting fakes fraudsters from the quality potential new friend.
You can gauge so much from demeanor and presentation that chat just doesn't offer.
We have met hundreds over the years and whilst we pretty much enjoyed meeting all of them that spark or desire was only for a few and those that found it mutual reduced it further.
What it means is we get to see alot of folks and by necessity you have to enjoy meeting people, but that doesnt mean your obliged to have sex .
It will always cme down to can 4 people all agree and be keen at the prospect at the same time ???
We've recently put our toe into the 'looking for a guy' pool. Our experience mirrors comments made earlier, the guy we selected seemed really nice and spent a good deal of time 'wooing' my partner, and he did a great job!!!
However, he basically ignored me and I felt shut out of the experience, my partner noticed his attitude and even though over several weeks he had her very excited by sms and phone calls, she moved to 'protect' me and ended the process, he never got to where he wanted to be......
We discussed it and really? To get to her, you have to 'satisfy' me.... its simple....... or it is to us..... we haven't been put off by this and will try again....
Read the ad/profile, get to know both parties and make sure your own profile is well written and respectful.
Good luck all......
However, he basically ignored me and I felt shut out of the experience, my partner noticed his attitude and even though over several weeks he had her very excited by sms and phone calls, she moved to 'protect' me and ended the process, he never got to where he wanted to be......
We discussed it and really? To get to her, you have to 'satisfy' me.... its simple....... or it is to us..... we haven't been put off by this and will try again....
Read the ad/profile, get to know both parties and make sure your own profile is well written and respectful.
Good luck all...... as a single bloke,,,, and a str8 one at that ,,, I do enjoy mfm threesomes ,,,but they are just that ,,mfm threesomes ,3 people ,,not 2 ,,to exclude mr from the setting is kinda silly ,,,,even if there is no intention to play with him as such ,,,there is two of you ,,not one ,,,,all in or none in ,, simple really ,,I don't blame you at all for cutting off guys who won't talk to both ,,,,and the sooner more single guys realise this ,,the better off we will all be
Warming the Bed
Our experience on this site is guys are generally rude, crude, stupid, desperate, lazy and outright retarded.
We are often contacted by guys, they ALWAYS assume they are speaking to the Mrs, many assume we are desperate, most assume they are special when they are 1 of thousands of guys on here, some try and act like they are the greatest at sex able to put pron stars to shame, the things they can do for the Mrs is amazing she has never had it before. Many go straight to crude within seconds of contact, you go sit in chat and get bombarded with chat requests and its always the same thing,
oh babe your hot
fuck you have great tits
id love to fuck you
wanna meet today?
I'm 9 inches cut!!
Did you check my gallery do you like my cock?
It goes on and on, almost every chat request or message is the same tone, guys show no respect for the fact we are a couple, most are rude and appear desperate, we have come to the conclusion a lot of guys here have never been laid because they act like it, then there are the other ones, the type who want to tell you all the shit they think you want to hear...
I am good with my tongue and hands
I always make sure the woman cums
I love woman and want them to enjoy it
Did you see my cock pic?
Oh please, guys live in the real world, being a creep gets you now where, trying to say all the right things well things you think are right is a major fail.
So what is the key to success when contacting a couple?
1 - limited cock pics, sure some couples dont mind them a poll would show most dont care to see your worthless cock, fact is its a cock most are basically the same, yours is not as special as you think, what is special is your gorgeous smile yet nobody shows that here. if you want to have a cock pic up because you are unable to control yourself have 1 or 2 with a bunch of pics showing you the person, show that there is more to you than the worthless thing you are desperate to use.
2 - Read profiles, why guys do not read profiles is amazing, so many guys see a picture of tits and hit the message button, they do not read the profile, heres a silly thought for you, if you show you cannot read a profile why would we want to get involved with you? classic example is a message we had earlier, this guy clearly has not read our profile but asked if we liked the look of his cock and wanted to meet, ummm noooooo you loser. Read profiles so when you contact them you know what they want and can actually message them with some content worth reading.
3 - Making contact, you must stop with the 3 word messages, "your hot babe" firstly get the English right but secondly your message needs to show you managed to pass primary school, when hubby opens messages like "your hot babe" he usually replies with something not so nice and blocks the person, your message needs to show you read the profile, it needs to be long enough to show you put in some effort and not long enough to make it all to hard to read and it needs to show you are someone with more than a cock, someone who has a brain!
4 - This is the biggest one, be normal!!
Sure some couples want to hear how good a fuck you are but we call them the serial hardcore types, most couples we speak to would rather you just be a normal every day person, you need to realize people are not here because they are sex addicts desperate for a fuck, they are often here to experience a little more, often limited in experience, most often cautious because they are a couple and need to be careful not to end up with some wacko, so act normal, do not act desperate, do not start off with sex sex sex., start off with something you might write if this was not a sex site but a normal dating site, show you have a brain and understand they are a couple and that you are a nice guy who is not a big swinging dick who thinks his cock is the best, why not show the truth, show that hey sure you are here for sex like everyone else but show you are normal, maybe a little nervous, keen, excited but also humble and respecting the situation and desires of the couple.
Warming the Bed
^^ That was awesome xD ^^
I guess this site is about sex and everything that comes with it but some of the best conversations we've had with the single males weren't about sex at all. In fact I remember a chat once with a guy who talked about his passion for hobbies etc. and how much it all meant to him. It was a refreshing conversation and nothing sexual about it. That's what we'd like to get more often, genuine people with genuine interests other than participating in acts with us.
Orgasminator
A couple that I am friends with all started with a conversation in chat with the Mr. We spoke for over six months, with sex rarely mentioned, it was all about hobbies and interpersonal talking.
I'm so over the single guys thinking they are God's gift to all women, when they are the least looked for group of people in the swinger site scene.
Grow up, read profiles, it's not all about you. If you MUST message, use grammar, spelling and punctualion. As a mature woman I do not need to be seeing text talk, it's lazy and shows you have no real interest. Keep it clean and respectful. Men like Lonely Dad can tell yo just how far that will take you ;)
Quote by okbius
Our experience on this site is guys are generally rude, crude, stupid, desperate, lazy and outright retarded.
We are often contacted by guys, they ALWAYS assume they are speaking to the Mrs, many assume we are desperate, most assume they are special when they are 1 of thousands of guys on here, some try and act like they are the greatest at sex able to put pron stars to shame, the things they can do for the Mrs is amazing she has never had it before. Many go straight to crude within seconds of contact, you go sit in chat and get bombarded with chat requests and its always the same thing,
oh babe your hot
fuck you have great tits
id love to fuck you
wanna meet today?
I'm 9 inches cut!!
Did you check my gallery do you like my cock?
It goes on and on, almost every chat request or message is the same tone, guys show no respect for the fact we are a couple, most are rude and appear desperate, we have come to the conclusion a lot of guys here have never been laid because they act like it, then there are the other ones, the type who want to tell you all the shit they think you want to hear...
I am good with my tongue and hands
I always make sure the woman cums
I love woman and want them to enjoy it
Did you see my cock pic?
Oh please, guys live in the real world, being a creep gets you now where, trying to say all the right things well things you think are right is a major fail.
So what is the key to success when contacting a couple?
1 - limited cock pics, sure some couples dont mind them a poll would show most dont care to see your worthless cock, fact is its a cock most are basically the same, yours is not as special as you think, what is special is your gorgeous smile yet nobody shows that here. if you want to have a cock pic up because you are unable to control yourself have 1 or 2 with a bunch of pics showing you the person, show that there is more to you than the worthless thing you are desperate to use.
2 - Read profiles, why guys do not read profiles is amazing, so many guys see a picture of tits and hit the message button, they do not read the profile, heres a silly thought for you, if you show you cannot read a profile why would we want to get involved with you? classic example is a message we had earlier, this guy clearly has not read our profile but asked if we liked the look of his cock and wanted to meet, ummm noooooo you loser. Read profiles so when you contact them you know what they want and can actually message them with some content worth reading.
3 - Making contact, you must stop with the 3 word messages, "your hot babe" firstly get the English right but secondly your message needs to show you managed to pass primary school, when hubby opens messages like "your hot babe" he usually replies with something not so nice and blocks the person, your message needs to show you read the profile, it needs to be long enough to show you put in some effort and not long enough to make it all to hard to read and it needs to show you are someone with more than a cock, someone who has a brain!
4 - This is the biggest one, be normal!!
Sure some couples want to hear how good a fuck you are but we call them the serial hardcore types, most couples we speak to would rather you just be a normal every day person, you need to realize people are not here because they are sex addicts desperate for a fuck, they are often here to experience a little more, often limited in experience, most often cautious because they are a couple and need to be careful not to end up with some wacko, so act normal, do not act desperate, do not start off with sex sex sex., start off with something you might write if this was not a sex site but a normal dating site, show you have a brain and understand they are a couple and that you are a nice guy who is not a big swinging dick who thinks his cock is the best, why not show the truth, show that hey sure you are here for sex like everyone else but show you are normal, maybe a little nervous, keen, excited but also humble and respecting the situation and desires of the couple.
We agree. I, Leslie, receive similar types of messages from guys all the time ...
Quote by baycouple6970We don't even bother attending events where they allow single males.
This takes us back to a party we went to some time ago. The party was heavy propotioned in the females favour. The party was open to couples, single females and single males, however it was only the single males that had to pay for the invite. Now we knew we were coming to a party that obviously meant couples were bringing the meat to the BBQ metaphorically speaking. The party didn't really work for us, but was primarily due the behaviour of some single males who felt asking permission was optional. Now these parties are advertised on here and other adult sites. Meet and greets are another way to meet couples, sometimes you can alter ones perception just by meeting them face to face.
The Bays
It's just not worth the hassle
Orgasminator
oh, and for the sake of little green apples - hang out int he chatrooms and actually talk. Not pester or make smutty remarks. Talk intelligently, be friendly, courteous and nice. Nice is underrated.
Hang out in the forums. Let the real you shine through and you will attract the ones that matter.
If you hang out in the chatrooms but only pop up when a female is on cam to say "nice tits" or "I want to fuck those" you will get nowhere. These people are called meerkats ande are universally loathed.
Talk to the male half of the couple. Can't emphasise that enough. He is the gatekeeper to the female half - very, very unlikely you will get anywhere if he doesn't like you, or if you ignore him.
I was in chat yesterday and was messaged by a single guy. I mentioned my bf quite a few times to see what he would say - pretty much ignored even the mention of himn, didn't even ask his name or make any comments. You really think I would be willing to even meet you if you can't een be bothered asking about my partner. He won't disappear if you ignore him, I will.
Warming the Bed
Nice put by everyone and every couple will have different opinions likes and dislikes. Reading a profile fully and to the end and if you did not understand it read it to the end all over again if that's who you want to contact. A face pic for us is one plus a couple showing what your into or personality second plus third is this being in a public album as last meet we did there was 750 emails to go through for that meet half no face pic for one second was the fact we said follow the clues was not an invite for single guys.
We have resorted to doing it this way as brains wins out in the end one have to read and work out clues, two have to read the ad to the bottom and then three you have made the effort to show you are keen.
With us you do not have to please the male but we are maybe a rarity here, here if I (Jacky) like you and if Kat and Marni coming then if they like you also as Alex not really a fussed person and just does his thing.
Although we are all in a relationship playing is generally discussed between us all and trying to go outside of rules we have set down equals don't bother with that person anymore.
If couples had a better time here, meets, dogging, clubs so fourth the scene would be lot more fun and we also wouldn't have to do cryptic meets.
Forum Virgin
There has been great advice, yes its a sex meeting site but most guys just don't put in the effort to sway the couple to them.A lazy profile generally means a lazy non reliable remember guys there are a lot of men chasing and the interest starts with your first email. Words like nsa, really so you want a woman to have sex with you with no emotional commitment...hmmmm there is always strings attached..no matter what you play. So if you not having luck with couples,maybe its the wrong couple for you or your approach may need work and yes the hubby is important too,in most cases if he doesn't like you then I don't think you stand a chance and esp if he feels you don't appreciate or respect the one he loves..just fuel for thought...be kind to each other...Gabi
A great thread and one I think we can offer some input on.
Firstly, let me say that the couple are not doing this for your benefit guys, thats a good outcome but they are here for THEIR reasons, not yours, be aware of that up front.
A single male is what we were looking for and although our profile is pretty specific, we have fended off untold Married/open relationship/attached guys. We aren't interested in an angry late night phone call from an hysterically distraught wife.... they are mostly nice guys, don't get me wrong, just not on our desired list of attributes.
So....READ THE PROFILE..... take to time to understand the profile.... if unsure on something .... ask, and that may be a way of breaking the ice in itself.
Learn to speak correctly, use spell check and do not use "U guys" etc.. its "you guys". Seriously, no one is after perfection, but please make an effort.
Cock shots, no, not yet, when she is comfortable, you will know when she wants to see them, no doubt she will, just not first up guys.
In the profile below, it clearly states that the way to my girls bits is through her mind... and through ME.
Firstly she has to be turned on by what you are doing/saying/displaying and thats the boy/girl chemistry and natural attraction thing, no one is going to shag a guy who doesn't turn them on (at least not recreationally).
And, as her husband, I am protective of my girl and I sure as hell am not gonna let a rude inconsiderate mongrel near her... so be polite to him as well, and probably him first! Get to know him a bit through text email etc... and let HIM be your advocate when you start to work on 'her' needs.... yes I know this is a sexual contact site, but guys, you still have to do SOME work.... if you aren't going to put the yards in, you have become a 'time waster', yours and ours.
We have stopped our search, mainly due to rude nutters, time wasters and liars. There are a lot of very nice men on this site, but conversely there are a few players who tell porkys and some who don't have a firm grip on reality.
Ok, so we have been lied to, verbally abused for rejecting early advances, harassed by sms after politely declining services. Oh....and used.... but that was ok, we also got what we wanted from that occasion.
Are we still in the market? No, not officially, but if someone comes along who stands out from the crowd.... who knows???
I must also say, that looks is not a major issue for us, we aren't perfect and we don't expect you to be either...your mind is by far your most attractive 'part'.
Our Profile.
We are a happily married mature couple looking to 'further' our education....... we will only play together and really dont know what we are looking for.....
We want to spend time with a guy our age or near enough, one who is respectful, caring and considerate of our inexperience. We really don't want much do we?????
The things you must do...... firstly, BE SINGLE... and then the way to my girls 'bits' is though her mind.... and me..... you need to be intellectual and articulate to win her mind, and get on well enough with me so that I trust you with her bits...lol....
Her needs, at this point are pretty simple, knowing her I can tell you that that can change quickly, and probably will..... I have my bucket list but none of this is too outside the square.
We want to start with sms first to gauge compatability, then phone conversations and probably drinks or dinner, all at this point with no expectations or obligations (there are never any obligations).
Firstly, let me say that the couple are not doing this for your benefit guys, thats a good outcome but they are here for THEIR reasons, not yours, be aware of that up front.
A single male is what we were looking for and although our profile is pretty specific, we have fended off untold Married/open relationship/attached guys. We aren't interested in an angry late night phone call from an hysterically distraught wife.... they are mostly nice guys, don't get me wrong, just not on our desired list of attributes.
So....READ THE PROFILE..... take to time to understand the profile.... if unsure on something .... ask, and that may be a way of breaking the ice in itself.
Learn to speak correctly, use spell check and do not use "U guys" etc.. its "you guys". Seriously, no one is after perfection, but please make an effort.
Cock shots, no, not yet, when she is comfortable, you will know when she wants to see them, no doubt she will, just not first up guys.
In the profile below, it clearly states that the way to my girls bits is through her mind... and through ME.
Firstly she has to be turned on by what you are doing/saying/displaying and thats the boy/girl chemistry and natural attraction thing, no one is going to shag a guy who doesn't turn them on (at least not recreationally).
And, as her husband, I am protective of my girl and I sure as hell am not gonna let a rude inconsiderate mongrel near her... so be polite to him as well, and probably him first! Get to know him a bit through text email etc... and let HIM be your advocate when you start to work on 'her' needs.... yes I know this is a sexual contact site, but guys, you still have to do SOME work.... if you aren't going to put the yards in, you have become a 'time waster', yours and ours.
We have stopped our search, mainly due to rude nutters, time wasters and liars. There are a lot of very nice men on this site, but conversely there are a few players who tell porkys and some who don't have a firm grip on reality.
Ok, so we have been lied to, verbally abused for rejecting early advances, harassed by sms after politely declining services. Oh....and used.... but that was ok, we also got what we wanted from that occasion.
Are we still in the market? No, not officially, but if someone comes along who stands out from the crowd.... who knows???
I must also say, that looks is not a major issue for us, we aren't perfect and we don't expect you to be either...your mind is by far your most attractive 'part'.
Our Profile.
We are a happily married mature couple looking to 'further' our education...
.... we will only play together and really dont know what we are looking for.....We want to spend time with a guy our age or near enough, one who is respectful, caring and considerate of our inexperience. We really don't want much do we?????
The things you must do...... firstly, BE SINGLE... and then the way to my girls 'bits' is though her mind.... and me..... you need to be intellectual and articulate to win her mind, and get on well enough with me so that I trust you with her bits...lol....
Her needs, at this point are pretty simple, knowing her I can tell you that that can change quickly, and probably will..... I have my bucket list but none of this is too outside the square.
We want to start with sms first to gauge compatability, then phone conversations and probably drinks or dinner, all at this point with no expectations or obligations (there are never any obligations).
