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mahlciem
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 53
0 km · New South Wales
Forum
We try to make love when we go home from the club or an encounter. Assuming we are not too tired. Then the next morning we take our coffee to the hot tub for debriefing time. We talk about the experience, what we liked and enjoyed as well as what we did not care for or totally hated. Any jealousy that rose is dealt with by lots of reassurance the night before when making love as well as during debriefing. For a few days we go out of our way to be more touchy/feely/flirty with each other, making sure we both feel the love between us. This seems to work very well for us to maintain our focus that we are the couple, they that we played with were the icing on an already outstanding cake. There is no way to always know how you will feel afterward so we keep in mind that its water under the bridge, learn from the experience for the next time.
Hi Johalber,
This is very normal. Just because people fantasize about something doesn't always mean they want to make it a reality. Sometimes the reality of realizing the fantasy is very scary. Some fantasies are better left as just that.
Now this doesn't mean it will always be that way with her. Mrs. WS and I started talking off-hand about swinging two years before it happened, and then it just did.
The important thing is to talk about it and not just when you're in the heat of the moment when screwing. Talk about it when you're not all turned-on, but in casual conversation. Ask what it is that turns her on about it and what doesn't. Then really listen. You can't manipulate somebody into doing something they don't want to or they'll resent you terribly. You just talk about it and let it ride.
As Intuition said, you may have your wife surf the Board and read what others have to say, too. If she wants, leave her alone to read it so that you're not looking over her shoulder and she can read what she wants to in private. That may help quelch some of her concerns.
Best of luck to you. Just take it easy and DON'T PUSH IT.
Mahlciem
