Hello everyone, my wife and have never swung or introduced another person to our sexual relationship yet. We have talked about the risks and the advantages several times. The real big question we have is what happens the very next day after your first time? Do you feel auckward, and if we do, how do overcome the auckwardness? We are very interested in the swinging lifestyle, swapping and threesome!! You just never really know as a couple how the response will be in our marrige the following day when real life kicks back in and we have to make dinner, pay bills!!!
Haarley
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Does the marrige change? Better/Worse
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We were concerned about that before we started, too. Since neither of us had ever witnessed each other kissing or being sexual (in any way) with another person, how could we know what we would feel when we got into a situation? We didn't want to freak ourselves out, or get other people involved and freak them out, either.
What we did: We went to strip clubs together, which we'd never done. We thought we'd see how that felt, and then go from there. We visited two in one night - the gentlemen's club type, and then later that night, a full-nude club where things went a little further (so we heard) with the private dances. We had a lot of fun and went from nervous to relaxed at the first club. We were getting horny by then, and it was time to visit the other club. We met a dancer there that was very attentive to me, and seemed especially interested in couples. Later on, we had a private dance with her, and it was extremely sexy. She told me I could do whatever I wanted. We made out, touched each other, etc. It was my husband's first time seeing me kiss a woman. She was a very sensuous woman, and actually seemed turned-on. She was giving me all of the attention, so I moved her to my husband's lap. She grinded on him, while he touched and kissed her. Then, we all three kissed. It was the most amazing experience for us! Of course, we (he and I) had mind-blowing sex later.
I know now that we just got extremely lucky that night. We've been to lots of different strip clubs since then, and the dancers might as well be made of wood - including in the private dances. LOL
Anyhow, my husband and I discovered through that experience that we didn't feel awkward at all, we were very turned-on by including somebody in a sexual way, and we knew this was going to work for us. We moved on from there, gradually - and it did work out.
Also, we found that by starting swinging gradually, such as same-room sex with our own partners and another couple in the room (soft swing), this was a good next step. It worked out well for us to not move into too much, too fast.
Best wishes to you!
Nathan
After our first swing experience, we anticipated that we may feel strange or awkward, but for us, it felt like the most normal thing in the world. We talked about how we felt and decided that we could definitely handle it. It has changed our marriage, for the better. We now are in a place of COMPLETE honesty, whereas we weren't before. In order to swing, you have to be upfront about your feelings and desires, or you wil quickly have problems in the lifestyle. Because, once you've told your spouse, 'gee honey, I'd really like to pin her legs behind her ears', you can tell each other anything.
Danny
Communication. You will see this through virtually all replies. You have to continuously communicate with your wife and vise versa. We have found that to be a great benifit to our relationship of course the mind blowing sex is the cherry on top.
Our first time, we (the other couple included) went very slow. They didn't want to put us off. We were very respectful of the boundries set, you have to determine them... through communicating with your wife. Like Pepper & Drew said, it felt natural. It was great and afterward it continues to spark our intimacy with eachother. Remember to go at the pace of your wife or vice versa. Its a wonderful experience... but you both need to decide.
:laugh:
It definitely changed our marriage, I felt more affectionate towards my wife but my wife took this to mean that I was feeling guilty about being with another woman, she is starting to gradually come around to the fact that my love for her has been renewed & I feel it is because she shared a special fantasy with me.
My wife still has misgivings about what happened, but we have had cuddles in bed with our friend since the first threesome & I played with both girls again (breasts only but) but a couple of days later my wife stated that she did not want to do things every time our friend came over which I understand.
I would never pressure my wife into doing something she did not enjoy, I am letting her set the pace & if it never happens again then so be it!
Ioannes :grin:
We try to make love when we go home from the club or an encounter. Assuming we are not too tired. Then the next morning we take our coffee to the hot tub for debriefing time. We talk about the experience, what we liked and enjoyed as well as what we did not care for or totally hated. Any jealousy that rose is dealt with by lots of reassurance the night before when making love as well as during debriefing. For a few days we go out of our way to be more touchy/feely/flirty with each other, making sure we both feel the love between us. This seems to work very well for us to maintain our focus that we are the couple, they that we played with were the icing on an already outstanding cake. There is no way to always know how you will feel afterward so we keep in mind that its water under the bridge, learn from the experience for the next time.
We were concerned about that before we started, too. Since neither of us had ever witnessed each other kissing or being sexual (in any way) with another person, how could we know what we would feel when we got into a situation? We didn't want to freak ourselves out, or get other people involved and freak them out, either.
What we did: We went to strip clubs together, which we'd never done. We thought we'd see how that felt, and then go from there. We visited two in one night - the gentlemen's club type, and then later that night, a full-nude club where things went a little further (so we heard) with the private dances. We had a lot of fun and went from nervous to relaxed at the first club. We were getting horny by then, and it was time to visit the other club. We met a dancer there that was very attentive to me, and seemed especially interested in couples. Later on, we had a private dance with her, and it was extremely sexy. She told me I could do whatever I wanted. We made out, touched each other, etc. It was my husband's first time seeing me kiss a woman. She was a very sensuous woman, and actually seemed turned-on. She was giving me all of the attention, so I moved her to my husband's lap. She grinded on him, while he touched and kissed her. Then, we all three kissed. It was the most amazing experience for us! Of course, we (he and I) had mind-blowing sex later.
I know now that we just got extremely lucky that night. We've been to lots of different strip clubs since then, and the dancers might as well be made of wood - including in the private dances. LOL
Anyhow, my husband and I discovered through that experience that we didn't feel awkward at all, we were very turned-on by including somebody in a sexual way, and we knew this was going to work for us. We moved on from there, gradually - and it did work out.
Also, we found that by starting swinging gradually, such as same-room sex with our own partners and another couple in the room (soft swing), this was a good next step. It worked out well for us to not move into too much, too fast.
Best wishes to you!
Nathan
Thank you so much for posting your story. That is a great idea of going to the strip clubs. I think that my husband and I will give that a try next weekend. I will keep you posted on how it goes. Thanks again!
curiouscpl
What we did: We went to strip clubs together, which we'd never done. We thought we'd see how that felt, and then go from there. We visited two in one night - the gentlemen's club type, and then later that night, a full-nude club where things went a little further (so we heard) with the private dances. We had a lot of fun and went from nervous to relaxed at the first club. We were getting horny by then, and it was time to visit the other club. We met a dancer there that was very attentive to me, and seemed especially interested in couples. Later on, we had a private dance with her, and it was extremely sexy. She told me I could do whatever I wanted. We made out, touched each other, etc. It was my husband's first time seeing me kiss a woman. She was a very sensuous woman, and actually seemed turned-on. She was giving me all of the attention, so I moved her to my husband's lap. She grinded on him, while he touched and kissed her. Then, we all three kissed. It was the most amazing experience for us! Of course, we (he and I) had mind-blowing sex later.
I know now that we just got extremely lucky that night. We've been to lots of different strip clubs since then, and the dancers might as well be made of wood - including in the private dances. LOL
Anyhow, my husband and I discovered through that experience that we didn't feel awkward at all, we were very turned-on by including somebody in a sexual way, and we knew this was going to work for us. We moved on from there, gradually - and it did work out.
Also, we found that by starting swinging gradually, such as same-room sex with our own partners and another couple in the room (soft swing), this was a good next step. It worked out well for us to not move into too much, too fast.
Best wishes to you!
Nathan
Thank you so much for posting your story. That is a great idea of going to the strip clubs. I think that my husband and I will give that a try next weekend. I will keep you posted on how it goes. Thanks again!
curiouscpl
Hello everyone, my wife and have never swung or introduced another person to our sexual relationship yet. We have talked about the risks and the advantages several times. The real big question we have is what happens the very next day after your first time? Do you feel auckward, and if we do, how do overcome the auckwardness? We are very interested in the swinging lifestyle, swapping and threesome!! You just never really know as a couple how the response will be in our marrige the following day when real life kicks back in and we have to make dinner, pay bills!!!
Haarley
Even though I'm not married, I can understand your situation. I have been dating my gf for 3 years and it was she who insisted on this. We just wanted to try something new and It was to be for one time. You know, like a trial basis. I remember the next day was really weird. We couldn't look at each other without giggling. It was like we did skydiving or bungee jumping. We never looked back since. So no worries mate, just go and have fun.
Haarley
Even though I'm not married, I can understand your situation. I have been dating my gf for 3 years and it was she who insisted on this. We just wanted to try something new and It was to be for one time. You know, like a trial basis. I remember the next day was really weird. We couldn't look at each other without giggling. It was like we did skydiving or bungee jumping. We never looked back since. So no worries mate, just go and have fun.
After doing more research in this matter, I have come to the realization that there are lot of marriages that ended due to their involvement in the lifestyle. That wasn't a very encouraging thing to learn. I have been talking to some helpful couples here, They have been telling me how important it is to communicate with each other or it can get really bad.
Forum Virgin
Quote by daylight
After doing more research in this matter, I have come to the realization that there are lot of marriages that ended due to their involvement in the lifestyle. That wasn't a very encouraging thing to learn. I have been talking to some helpful couples here, They have been telling me how important it is to communicate with each other or it can get really bad.
We know a few couples that have split up who were in the swinging scene. Given that 50% or so of marriages break up anyway I would assume that the same thing applies to swingers. Certainly 2 or 3 of the couples we have known that split up were because of swinging. Some get into it so much that it is an every Friday and Sat night thing. That isn't healthy for a relationship. The other thing would be swinging without the partner. Everyone we have known who has split up and put it down to swinging has been in this category. We have been a part of this for 20 years and have always played together. Whether it be 3sms, 4sms, other couples or larger groups, we have always been together and experienced each other's fun. For us it has certainly held us together and the friends we have made are much closer than all our other non swinger friends. With our swinger friends we can talk about anything, other friends there is always a barrier that we don't cross.
YES,
You explore so much more sexually when you are into swinging, but having said that the best sex I have ever had is with my wife, but all the other women have been fun as well and we both get a kick out of M F M threesomes.
I can only talk from our own experience, we had joined a nudist club where we soon found out their was an underground swinging movement, we talked about it but I never thought I would get my wife into it, she was a very conservative strict Catholic girl (I thought I had done very well just getting her to join the nudist club).
I kept bringing up swinging at every opportunity without harping on it too much, and I kept putting opportunities in front of her but always leaving her a way out 'it was very frustrating at times I can tell you' and I never got upset when she did decided not to take them up 'we were so close at times'!
You do have to take in account that I was the only guy she had been with, I took her cherry when she was 19.
You can read the whole story of her first time in another of my postings.
(Briefly) We were at a party and I was called away urgently to work, instead of taking the wife home I arranged for a friend of ours Joe to give her a lift home from the party telling them to have a good time as I left.
Next morning when I arrived home she told me that she had been a naughty girl last night with Joe, I replied that a bit of a kiss and cuddle never hurt anyone, and she replied 'it was more than a kiss and a cuddle', I barred up then and there and took her to bed and made love to her while she told me every little detail of what happened and WOW it was hot, we were on perpetual heat, touching each other up and having sex all the time.
Two days later after a couple of phone calls Joe and his partner visited us and we were all soon in the bedroom playing, my wife insisted on guiding my cock into Joes partner just to show that their were no hard feelings, that opened the door to swinging, swapping and M F M threesomes for us, and we were welcome with open arms and legs when the news got out amongst the swingers at the nudist club, we were fresh blood, we were 35 and had been married 15 years.
I had no idea just how big a Pandora's box I had opened, she took to the lifestyle like a duck to water, at times she had me biting my tongue with some of the antics she got up to but I (we) loved it, no regrets what so ever.
We have now been married over 45 years and are still very much in love.
You explore so much more sexually when you are into swinging, but having said that the best sex I have ever had is with my wife, but all the other women have been fun as well and we both get a kick out of M F M threesomes.
I can only talk from our own experience, we had joined a nudist club where we soon found out their was an underground swinging movement, we talked about it but I never thought I would get my wife into it, she was a very conservative strict Catholic girl (I thought I had done very well just getting her to join the nudist club).
I kept bringing up swinging at every opportunity without harping on it too much, and I kept putting opportunities in front of her but always leaving her a way out 'it was very frustrating at times I can tell you' and I never got upset when she did decided not to take them up 'we were so close at times'!
You do have to take in account that I was the only guy she had been with, I took her cherry when she was 19.
You can read the whole story of her first time in another of my postings.
(Briefly) We were at a party and I was called away urgently to work, instead of taking the wife home I arranged for a friend of ours Joe to give her a lift home from the party telling them to have a good time as I left.
Next morning when I arrived home she told me that she had been a naughty girl last night with Joe, I replied that a bit of a kiss and cuddle never hurt anyone, and she replied 'it was more than a kiss and a cuddle', I barred up then and there and took her to bed and made love to her while she told me every little detail of what happened and WOW it was hot, we were on perpetual heat, touching each other up and having sex all the time.
Two days later after a couple of phone calls Joe and his partner visited us and we were all soon in the bedroom playing, my wife insisted on guiding my cock into Joes partner just to show that their were no hard feelings, that opened the door to swinging, swapping and M F M threesomes for us, and we were welcome with open arms and legs when the news got out amongst the swingers at the nudist club, we were fresh blood, we were 35 and had been married 15 years.
I had no idea just how big a Pandora's box I had opened, she took to the lifestyle like a duck to water, at times she had me biting my tongue with some of the antics she got up to but I (we) loved it, no regrets what so ever.
We have now been married over 45 years and are still very much in love.
Warming the Bed
The fact always is that one will end up with the short end of the stick and the other with the better deal.
If the one with the short end of the stick is happy for the other with the better deal, then you will enjoy it.
Most swingers we met are selfish and do not fall in this cathegory.
The are most happy to have another wife but not so much sharing their own, you find them when they put in the add:
no single men.
If you swing to enjoy yourselfs (both), then you can not fail, if you swing to prove some thing, then you will fail.
Hi walwal.
I tend to agree with you as far as one of the partners ending up with the short end of the stick most times, we have seen it happen so many times with other couples we have met over the years.
I think that we avoid that situation personally, fair enough it was me that bought up swinging to start off and after a lot of hard work got her involved in the lifestyle, but once we got into it she was a more than willing partner (up until her first time I was the only person she had been with) to the point she frightened me at times with what she got up to.
After exploring most of the activities open to swingers 'without getting to kinky' and finding it hard to meet couples you could have long term relationships with after the initial lust wore off and not liking the prospect of going through the hassle of meeting new people all the time(so time consuming and frustrating), we leaned more so to M F M threesomes 'I love seeing her go with other guys and going silky seconds', the only thing different is we prefer married guys who we find are a lot more stable in a long term relationship, + she had a bad experience with a single guy we were seeing who got to possessive and jealous 'of me the husband in a M F M threesome situation' and wanted her to meet him behind my back, also all our sex with others is bare back sex after a health check up and we found it better to have long term stable relationships with whoever we are playing with, that's the way it still is for us, but I must admit we have slowed down to almost a stop these days, who said age will not weary them lol!
But we sure have had our fun over the years, 30 + years in the lifestyle I can tell you. 
Warming the Bed
Hi Rick_Salt
never let the fire go out and if needs be put another log in the oven!
thr secret is your we swing we put on the fun people arnt going to hear your life problems,pay the bills,look after kids ect,they are only there for a good time,and if you are too,then swinging is very rewarding ,as it takes away all desire to fuck your partner around and removes jeleosy,it is a beutifull thing to share with your partner and it is good for the ego to have someone else lust after you or your are never looking for perfect people as this is only sex and not far as we are concerned bring it also must be comfortable with each other and not do this because you are bored with each other,this brings on the green envy which will certainly ruin your relationship,its only sex not love,no go home and you stay home get it?as i said its all in the mind
Sexlightened
I meet my soulmate on the net almost 6 years ago now ... and he told me from the start what he was into and that he could not be satisfied in a monogamous relationship and put it to me wether I would be interested in MFF
..I honestly told him that in my previous relationship my ex husband would pressure me into MFF encounters which in the end I didnt mind (as the girl could get me off better than he could) but hated the fact that I was pressured into performing. My new man understood this and asked if I was curious about exploring other avenues, which I replied "Yes"
So as he worked in Sydney and traveled home to his house he would contact me to meet him in a park on his way home and we would have sex on the park benches and stuff.. We also had a couple of encounters with other couples where as walwal has said one of us got the short end
Yes there are a few couples out there thats its all about them but this can be overcome easily but a simple rule If both arent having fun neither play and if the guy seems to be getting limited by the other couple as this does happen a bit Ladies suggest or metion to the other girl that you would like to see her fuck your partner and if this doesnt happen simple play stops...or visa versa if you see a member of the couple looking distant ask wether he/she wants to play dont just asume they want to watch as some people like to invited in..
But the BIG rule in swinging as a couple is you are doing it as a couple not for the other persons pleasure.. Our policy is do onto other couples as you would have them do onto you both.... We dont and have never meet up with a couple then asked the if they play solo as this in our eyes is extremely bad manners if we want a MFF only we will find a single girl we also dont do the guys watch girls play senario as that is not what we are after I enjoy watchin another girl with my man and seeing the look on her face as she hits peaks and having the knowledge that that stud is coming home with me.. and walwal just because they have NO SINGLE GUYS does not mean they dont play with or exclude partners we have it on ours and we dont exclude.. I have NO SINGLE GUYS because of what it says ..I prefer females and as my hubby knows if it wasnt for him I would probally turn and go GIRLS ONLY but dont get me wrong I love cock
...but do love the femine touch so by us playing with couples I get the best of both worlds nothing better then being a a 69 and watchin your hubbys cock slide into another girls pussy and tasting her juices and sweet nectar off his cock....
So to answer the question of this post is YES it does get better but only if you BOTh are commited to each other and dont have any trust issues as then the only jealousy you should see is the envy on the other couples face when you both leave together and go fuck down the park after ...oops giving away to much now
Cheers
2wild
..I honestly told him that in my previous relationship my ex husband would pressure me into MFF encounters which in the end I didnt mind (as the girl could get me off better than he could) but hated the fact that I was pressured into performing. My new man understood this and asked if I was curious about exploring other avenues, which I replied "Yes"
So as he worked in Sydney and traveled home to his house he would contact me to meet him in a park on his way home and we would have sex on the park benches and stuff.. We also had a couple of encounters with other couples where as walwal has said one of us got the short end
Yes there are a few couples out there thats its all about them but this can be overcome easily but a simple rule If both arent having fun neither play and if the guy seems to be getting limited by the other couple as this does happen a bit Ladies suggest or metion to the other girl that you would like to see her fuck your partner and if this doesnt happen simple play stops...or visa versa if you see a member of the couple looking distant ask wether he/she wants to play dont just asume they want to watch as some people like to invited in..
But the BIG rule in swinging as a couple is you are doing it as a couple not for the other persons pleasure.. Our policy is do onto other couples as you would have them do onto you both.... We dont and have never meet up with a couple then asked the if they play solo as this in our eyes is extremely bad manners if we want a MFF only we will find a single girl we also dont do the guys watch girls play senario as that is not what we are after I enjoy watchin another girl with my man and seeing the look on her face as she hits peaks and having the knowledge that that stud is coming home with me.. and walwal just because they have NO SINGLE GUYS does not mean they dont play with or exclude partners we have it on ours and we dont exclude.. I have NO SINGLE GUYS because of what it says ..I prefer females and as my hubby knows if it wasnt for him I would probally turn and go GIRLS ONLY but dont get me wrong I love cock
...but do love the femine touch so by us playing with couples I get the best of both worlds nothing better then being a a 69 and watchin your hubbys cock slide into another girls pussy and tasting her juices and sweet nectar off his cock....So to answer the question of this post is YES it does get better but only if you BOTh are commited to each other and dont have any trust issues as then the only jealousy you should see is the envy on the other couples face when you both leave together and go fuck down the park after ...oops giving away to much now
Cheers
2wild
