GET A CLUE - Getting further on a swingers site

Some of you will know of me, Im Rosie, and one of the Australian mods, you will often see me or another starred mod, sitting in chat.  Many times, and from all aspects of the site, be it a couple or solo male or solo female profiles. Mods and admin and members hear this. 

*No one wants to play* *No one wants to meet* and one or two or three other reasons.

So I thought I would do a GET a CLUE thread.

And As we get answers, I will edit this first post, and hopefully, you may pick up the clues, and work them to your happiness.

Being a mod here, I have managed to hear many things. BUT Im not going to add everything I know, this is for members, to add their knowledge.

So this in the first clue from me.

1/ Dont expect to play straight off, talking to some one on a swingers site, doesnt mean, play should be expected within 5 mins. Its not a play party. A online site is different to a play party.

Now its your turn.

Be open and honest about your status ... a lot of ppl do not want to play with married men and help you cheat ... so give them the truth and the option to decide if they want to chat to you or not ... liers always get caught out 

4/ Dont start an email or a whisper with *Lets FUCK* of cause that could work if you already know each other enough. BUT not recommended on the first contact.

5/ Dont ask this question, you may just get this answer..

Question * having any luck here?*

Oh i dislike that question, its like if you say yes, then you come across easy, if you say no.. then the site and or your self is ugly.. So i choose not to answer it

Read profiles

If you are approaching someone or a couple, one of the worst things you can say is 'so, what are you after' or 'tell me about yourself' particularly when that person/couple have a decent profile that outlines likes, dislike and what they seek.

Basically, research well before hitting up people, else you come off as desperate and you may remain dateless

Dont expect that because we are here we want to have a legover with everyone. Conversation (meaning more than 3 words strung together) is the key to beginning a good friendship. Include both of the couple even if one isn't on line, show interest in the fact that there is another partner if you are talking to the lady of the couple. And please dont talk text speak, we like a normal conversation not Hi, HRU? 

Hope that isn't too much info in one hit. 

Do not start a whisper or email with " oh nice pics" it strongly suggests you have only saw the pics and not read the profile. 

Whenever you see a woman or couple on cam do not direct them, this is quite rude and will see you blocked in a second. 

If you wont say it to a random stranger out in public then dont say in a whisper! 

These things are what we block for mostly.

Be tolerant. Everyone is different and on here for a variety of reasons. Don't get offended by different view points. Individuals are entitled to individual opinions, as long as they aren't being abusive or hate-filled.

Be creative with your profile and make an effort in how you present yourself .... 

Check out the lets meet up Post, 

There are meet and greets, that are open to every one at the top, We call these stickies. No play, during a meet and greet, its purely social. But a great way to meet local and on occasion interstate members. 

Plus you can check out other meet up posts.

If you are the one initiating contact don't expect the other person to do all of the work. I understand that you want to get to know me, however don't expect me to tell you all about me straight off. You are interested in me so please tell me more about yourself first.  I dislike winks because it means the initiator just clicks one button however the expectation is that the other person has to read the profile and make the effort to reply in full.   please don't just fire questions at me in chat ( how are you, what are you doing, how's your day been, what do you do for work, have you had much luck here) - being interrogated is not a turn on. Start by telling me about you first.

Though Pictures, get most peoples attention. folks, on the other end, prefer you read their profile.

Check out what they have ticked off in the boxes.

Hi Rose

I would like callers to use a tiny bit of imagination when sending a first message.
I have [regrettably] received so many messages which have 100% identical wording, I have become suspicious as to whether or not I am dealing with real people or just a "cut 'n paste machine"

What I get too much of is this -

I'd like to know more ...
Hi,
Really like your profile, why don't you drop by and have a look at mine. Let me know what you think.

It does make me wonder sometimes ... while we're having fun with others who are fun to be with

Phil

I think you are getting winks Lumix Lovers. And yes - an absolute waste of time!

you can set up an automatic reply for winks... you don't even see them coming to your inbox. The reply is sent out saying " thanks for the attention for please read my profile and next time send me a full email if you think we are compatible"

We thought some guys either need glasses or can't read English but we are now convinced just stupid.

We have quite a simple profile, not a novel. But we have stated we don't want anyone over the age of 50 and don't ask to be friends unless we have chatted.

These requests are are in bold type, really this is an indication that these guys are either stupid or more likely so desperate they do it because they have no chance anyway.

Also asking MsNorty play alone is another one.

All the above earns a block.

Please remember this thread, is for clues, and not bagging folks. In any form. If need be i will edit, any and all that cross the line. :)

So far from what Im reading and heard and such. Folks truly need to read the profiles.

That will get them along way to gaining points and maybe just maybe, A chance to a meet up.

Even I as a mod, am on occasion jaw dropped to the floor, as hit.

Recently, I had a person, just flat out say, Now mind you, I had knocked back their friendship request, I want to lick your pussy... Well Im flattered, they kept trying, BUT uummm Would you say that to some one in a pub or a party, that you have never spoken to before??

On here, and I repeat whats been said so far. Just because its an adult site about swingers/ give you the right to carry a banana and be a monkey. :/

So so far, 

1/I would say READ profiles

2/ Be a gentlemen or lady until you get to know the person, then if need be, be a monkey hehehe

3/ Dont add friends, unless you say more then hi first.

4/ Dont assume what you see in pics, is that person in real life. (i like this one my self) lol

5/If you cant talk to certain  people in chat, what makes you think they will take your whisper?

OK am i on the ball so far???

remember, I am here too!

Quote by Dynamiteduo
remember, I am here too!

 DD!!!!!! lol are you sure ? :P

well sometimes

If you get into chat, or even if you dont, but you use the site, to send messages.  Dont assume, a hi back means your going to play. 

Compared to the early generations of swinging, and what I have noticed from profiles and talking to folks, FOLKS are more careful, A hi only doesnt do it, at least 90%percent of the time I think.

And If the chick says, hey no Im not playing at this time, or in my case, I choose not too. :) .. Lets talk first. And you stop talking back. That is a huge clue for solo ladies and couples, YOUR not really interested, you dont care what floats the persons boat. If you cant be bothered, to go to say a second question, even asking about the weather, is something. Maybe its a girl thing. 

What makes you think weeks later when you forget you have spoken to the same people and only send another hi, that they are going to say yes??

If you cant be bothered and sound disappointed or narky, because you didnt get play first off, just because you said hi.  Your not going to get far. 

Oh and when one saids, No means no... thanks but no thanks, and the other versions of this. Dont go why not??? It shows lack of respect for that person/couple. Dont keep popping questions along the line of lets play. For many its enough to get you blocked.

I always tell folks, not to expect anything, that way when it doesnt happen, you dont get pissed off, and two when it does its a bonus.

so true rose

Interesting  thoughts on winks etc, We will have a brief read of a couples profile and if they meet, age, body type, looking for similar, we will send a modified wink, just to test the water. 

If we get no response that's fine, things might be complicated with the other couple you have approached timing wrong,

If we get a response, no thanks that's fine too, we then block that person, not being nasty but if the couple has said "no", we think that's a fundamental swing rule "no means no" and you move on.   

We are not going to write a initial message too impress and waste our time until there is indication of some interest from both sides.

(might  be different for singles here but us being a couple we already have our partner, this is just fun)

We think winks are great when personalised and used properly, there is a filter to only receive from who you are looking for. 

We get PM and messages from single guys and married guys pretending to be single. We are really tired of the constant harassment. Serious guys if we are not looking for another male, single, married or otherwise are you really all that, that suddenly we would change our mind.

Ok onto another subject. They say variety is the spice of life. So it is interesting that couples look for couples that are similar in age, body type etc. To me that will like only eating the same flavour of ice cream everytime. I mean variety to me would mean, hey lets try some strawberry, or rum and rasin lol. So why not treat your palate to something different, you might be surprised.

Another observation, because observing is my favourite thing lol. Single ladies looking for a playmate, fuck buddy or potential boyfriend. Then you read what they are looking for in their profile. I will use an example of one that I read some time ago that it made me chuckle. Single lady, 52 yrs old, 5'5". She is looking for a single male within an hour of her, must be around her age no older than 55, must be at least 6 foot, must have a head of hair, no facial hair, must be fit/athletic, must be well endowed prefer over 8 inches and circumcised. The best part.... she was in a chat room complaining about not finding anyone. Now I am no mathematician, but I would say she is dreaming, women over 50 out number the men by 20-25%.  On an adult site the number of single males within one hour of her location maybe around......say 50 and out of those 50 some are pretending to be single (no surprise there), so lets be conservative and say 40. Now out of the 40 she is looking for someone around her age (50-55), so consider the majority on single males on an adult site is 25-34 age group, lets not forget to take away the under 25 and the 35-49 and suddenly the percentage isn't looking good. So lets say around 10 are over in the 50-55 age bracket. Now the average male in Australia is 5'7", and again lets conservatively say 3 men are over 6 foot. Now approx. 85% of men will experience hair loss, so now we are down to 1. Now this one single guy will have to be athletic/fit, no facial hair and be well endowed (over 8 inches) and wait for it, circumcised. I am thinking this lady isn't that bright or like most women (I am sure to get a slap from my wife on this) wants what she can't have lol. What I found strange about her long list is something that wasn't listed in her profile and that was personality. I guess she doesn't care if the guy is an arsehole or complete douchebag, because finding a guy with all the right physical attributes is what matters.

Oh by the why, the subject of circumcised vs uncircumcised, does it really matter if to slip a condom over it? I get the impression there is some prejudiced against males who are uncircumcised. Consent was given when they were babies not to get cut. Yes there is evidence to suggest that males who are cut are less likely to get infections etc. But lets negate the fact that there are higher rate of contracting STIs from single Bi (curious/sexual) males compared to Prostitutes or swinging couples. Yes I am sure that some people call bullshit on this but I say tell that to the person with 30+ years experience in a sexual health clinic she is wrong lol . So anyway getting off track here, it is prejudice against males who aren't circumcised because of perception? I think women can be quite cruel and judgmental about something that is quite personal to a male, irrespective of the fact he is healthy, clean and STI free. If males where to judge a female in the same way, they would be hung and quartered.

Quote by BumpNGrind6970
 To me that will like only eating the same flavour of ice cream everytime. 

 but I like chocy ice cream (mr)

Ha ha ha Mr Two, then again I would love to eat Mrs Two every single night . She is sensational!!!!!

Now this is one thing, some always expect, That is, if you have a profile, that means your ready to jump into what ever position is requested. Yes its a swinging site,  Yes its an adult site, No it isnt a sex site, It is a site about swinging, If you look at the site as, the sex, if your lucky, is the bonus. Most folks are not desperate, most folks, prefer to be careful, Some yes, jump into sex straight away. But none of us, should assume, that just because you have a profile, means that your lets go for it now. With whom ever comes along. 

Let alone, be asked why you have a profile, just because you dont choose that person. Ask that question if you know them longer then 2 seconds and one chat. :P

great piece mr bumpngrind !

Many guys call themselves bi, but you are not bi when there must be a female present for you to even touch another male. Bisexual means you are comfortable enough to have sex with the same gender -one on one as well as with more people.

Quote by ihaveskin
Many guys call themselves bi, but you are not bi when there must be a female present for you to even touch another male. Bisexual means you are comfortable enough to have sex with the same gender -one on one as well as with more people.

 
Well said. Drop mic and walk.??