We were concerned about that before we started, too. Since neither of us had ever witnessed each other kissing or being sexual (in any way) with another person, how could we know what we would feel when we got into a situation? We didn't want to freak ourselves out, or get other people involved and freak them out, either.
What we did: We went to strip clubs together, which we'd never done. We thought we'd see how that felt, and then go from there. We visited two in one night - the gentlemen's club type, and then later that night, a full-nude club where things went a little further (so we heard) with the private dances. We had a lot of fun and went from nervous to relaxed at the first club. We were getting horny by then, and it was time to visit the other club. We met a dancer there that was very attentive to me, and seemed especially interested in couples. Later on, we had a private dance with her, and it was extremely sexy. She told me I could do whatever I wanted. We made out, touched each other, etc. It was my husband's first time seeing me kiss a woman. She was a very sensuous woman, and actually seemed turned-on. She was giving me all of the attention, so I moved her to my husband's lap. She grinded on him, while he touched and kissed her. Then, we all three kissed. It was the most amazing experience for us! Of course, we (he and I) had mind-blowing sex later.
I know now that we just got extremely lucky that night. We've been to lots of different strip clubs since then, and the dancers might as well be made of wood - including in the private dances. LOL
Anyhow, my husband and I discovered through that experience that we didn't feel awkward at all, we were very turned-on by including somebody in a sexual way, and we knew this was going to work for us. We moved on from there, gradually - and it did work out.
Also, we found that by starting swinging gradually, such as same-room sex with our own partners and another couple in the room (soft swing), this was a good next step. It worked out well for us to not move into too much, too fast.
Best wishes to you!
Nathan
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narelle
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 45
Straight Male, 45
0 km · Queensland
Forum
I know for me it was awkward to undress myself in front of other people. My former girlfriend did find one way to break the ice for all of us and that was to have them undress me. It was a good way to start foreplay and it helped to slow it down enough that you had time to move past the awkward moments before the sex starts. They usually spent about 10 minutes undressing me and then I would spend about 10 minutes undressing them. We had a lot of foreplay during those 20 minutes and all nerves were gone after about the first 30 seconds. I think it was better because the sex started while we were still dressed and that made it more sensual instead of just plain sex.
Nathan
My wife and I are new to swinging (5 months) and we both enjoy it immensely. It was her that brought it up (midlife crisis) and I was all for it. Now I find myself in a dilemma and I feel like I no longer know my wife, sexually, anymore We've known each other for over 20 years (friends for 9 years, married 13) and she didn't have a lot of experience before we got married.
Just this weekend she allowed another guy to take her anal cherry (I've only been begging for 13 years), had her first bi experience and had her first MFM. I'm OK with everything (except the anal part and she has agreed to let me try it when she is not sore anymore!) but sexually, I don't feel that I know her sexually anymore. When it's just the two of us, we revert back to our conservative style of lovemaking. It's not that I'm conservative in bed, I'm pretty wild and had a lot of experience before we got married.
She just doesn't feel that she can get wild with me around. At her insistence, most of our swinging experiences are separate room and at the end of the evening, she likes telling me her experiences. Heck, I really didn't believe she did all those things until I got the digital pictures.
I'm not too concerned as the rest of our relationship is still strong. I just wish that I could be there to share some of her experiences. Whenever we have same room encounters, she reverts to her conservative approach and I get the distinct feeling (actually she told me) that she wishes I wasn't there and that I make her feel inhibited.
Sorry for the long post but has anyone else gone through this experience? BTW, we have posted as a couple under SexyAsianDiva in the past.
Thanks,
Nathan
