I am very intersted in getting into this lifestyle but my wife does not want to. She is really into it only while we are having sex and then afterwards, she changes her mind.... is this normal?
I really want to see her with another man and she is into it to, but only while we are having sex. I know this type of thing turns her on because she will cum almost imediately when I talk about her and I in a 69 while she is being fucked by a bigger dick and it fills her pussy with cum while I am licking them both.
Is there anything I can do to help her out of her shell? Is there a place to go just to watch first before we take the next step?
I think if I met another man in my area and I become freinds with him, he could come over to the house and my wife could get to know him then I could intorduce him to her sexually... that might go over okay.
Please help...
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How to take the first step?
No, its not something that you can force upon her and neither should you even try to. Give her time. First of all, understand that your marriage and family life is the priority and you wouldn't want to break or disturb that for few moments of pleasures or your fantasies. When you talk to her during sex about this, she responds fine because she is excited too. But she refuses later or chagnges her mind later because its a inhibition in her pysche. You must talk to her once you make her comfortable and are in good mood, explain her how much you care for her and that you would welcome and honour her wishes. Explain her how spicey it can be and may bring in more pleasure and also comfot her that since you both are doing it with mutual consent its not cheating or similar. That thought can also prevent her from agreeing unless you adress it comfortably. mantra is to giver her time and not force it upon her. Choose appropriate time and not just any time.
Hi Johalber,
This is very normal. Just because people fantasize about something doesn't always mean they want to make it a reality. Sometimes the reality of realizing the fantasy is very scary. Some fantasies are better left as just that.
Now this doesn't mean it will always be that way with her. Mrs. WS and I started talking off-hand about swinging two years before it happened, and then it just did.
The important thing is to talk about it and not just when you're in the heat of the moment when screwing. Talk about it when you're not all turned-on, but in casual conversation. Ask what it is that turns her on about it and what doesn't. Then really listen. You can't manipulate somebody into doing something they don't want to or they'll resent you terribly. You just talk about it and let it ride.
As Intuition said, you may have your wife surf the Board and read what others have to say, too. If she wants, leave her alone to read it so that you're not looking over her shoulder and she can read what she wants to in private. That may help quelch some of her concerns.
Best of luck to you. Just take it easy and DON'T PUSH IT.
Mahlciem
Talking about each others fantasies is a good start,for us we were both unsure about the whole deal & with her she felt that there would be some kind of bad stigma placed on her, making her a bad person,i suspect that alot of people feel this way.
we had the same deal as you described where when we were having sex she loved the idea & it really turned her on but afterwards she wasnt so sure,what we did was we agreed that each of us could have another partner if the chance arose to experiment with the whole idea & for her to see how she felt after having out of the marrige sex.
To make a long story short she found a man that she liked & with my blessing spent the evening with him,when she came home she was nervous but after seeing that my reaction wasnt anger or jealousy then the whole idea she had of her being dirty or a bad person went out the window,after that it became a natural part of our live's.
Haarley
I have to say that I am exactly the same as your wife. Talking about it during sex is a huge turn on to me, then the next day I think about it and I get nervous again. I don't know why I am so nervous about doing it, I guess I am scared that it will seriously change our relationship and it is a good one already so why tamper with it?
curiouscpl
Yes, I totally agree with what others said. You shouldn't push your wife into doing somehting she doesn't want to. If you want it that bad, introduce her to the idea slowly - subtle hints, stories, discussions.
Talk to each other about your fantasies. Slowly introduce Swinging into the realm of fantasy. Make her think about it. Bring her over to here. Let her see how people interact and discuss in the forums.
Slowly..Babysteps.
The best thing to do would be to go to a club. Instead of just sitting there and reading about swinging you can see for yourself what's it all about. You can then decided if this is for you or not. Trust me, Club is the way to go. Do some research and look for the clubs in your area.
How many times do I have to tell this people! The best thing for you to do as the first step is to call me. ( If you are in sydney that is ) If you happened to be those misfortuned ones who are outside sydney. Don't worry. I will be conducting monthly visits all across the continent. Consider yourself fortunate.
