Ok, here it is, I'm holding the works best swingers party in melbourne tonight. Located in a five star hotel in the CBD there'll be a select number sexy couples and single girls attending
The party's going to be a sensual night of intimacy and love making for all involved, with all needs catered for and nobody going home unsatisfied.
There's still a few spots available, so get in early to register your interest. No single guys!
OK, maybe I've exaggerated on a few points.
Firstly no one has registered interest. Secondly I'm on my own in the room at the moment and most likely it will stay that way.
However, the party is going to be a fantastic night of intimacy and love making regardless of the turn out.
If, by some remarkable chance somebody does register interest, I'll be sure to give you all a full account go this amazing evening.
But, if as I suspect the night ends with a drawn out individual effort, then I'll be only too happy to recount this to you all as well.
I'll be sitting by the computer waiting for the deluge of responses, don't miss this wonderful opportunity..
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Worlds best travelling swingers party returns to melbourne
Thanks for your support tempted two.
As promised, here's my play report:
The event kicked of with a get to know you wine and a bit of highly charged small talk. I could really feel the sexual tension in the room. Pretty soon it was clear that this level of unspoken passion needed to come to a resolution.
What followed was clothes being peeled off and the softest touch sensual massage I've ever given. I was impressed at how attentive I was to the lucky person's needs and I truly focused all my energy at the task at hand.
While the party did achieve record numbers in attendance, this was only because it's the first time I've hosted the world's best travelling swingers party. The official numbers are in and sadly, I was the only person there. Don't think for a moment that this in any way made the party less enjoyable.
If you missed out on the night don't worry, I'll be bringing it back to melbourne in a few weeks.
The big news is that I'm going to be holding a massive party in Perth next week which will be over two nights on Tuesday and Wednesday.
Register your interest now and you won't be disappointed. I can confirm there'll only be one single male attending, and quite likely nobody else.
Quote by wendles67
Was an enjoyable if not humorous read, certainly quite a sense of humour you have. Hope you have more success with numbers next time. Cheers
Thanks wendies,
I'm glad you enjoyed the party as much as I did! I'm really looking forward to the Perth party. Strangely though bookings have got off to a slow start for this one.
I'm not worried, it's quality I'm after, not quantity. I saw a video of a swingers party online the other day and this party had girls there and other boys.
I think that's what makes my parties unique, and I'd hate to throw out the essence of what I originally stood for as the worlds best travelling swingers party makes its way around the country.
Thanks Webberman,
I can't believe the massive Perth party has come around so quickly. Tuesday and Wednesday nights are really going to get tongues wagging out west.
There's still some spaces left, so register now to avoid the last minute rush. Here's the booking stats so far:
Single ladies 0
Straight Couples 0
Gay couples 0
Bi couples 0
Dominatrix 0
Strippers 0
Midgets 0
Single males 1
As you can see I'm receiving consistent support from all areas of the community in WA. Why not add your name to this extensive list and join the action.
For anyone that's unlucky enough to have to miss out, I'll provide a play report soon.
I'm back home from Perth and my most successful party ever!
I think that holding the event over 2 nights was a master stroke on my part (if I do say so myself). I know you're all dying to hear about it, so here's my long awaited play report:
As the sun set over the Indian Ocean, the good people of Perth went about their business watching TV and getting their kids ready for bed.
But meanwhile, on the 11th floor of the Rydges hotel something far more interesting was about to go down.
This time I spared no expense, the room was nicely prepared with flower petals lovingly laid across the king size bed. A bottle of champagne was chilling on the table and a selection of lotions and oils were on the side board ready for the sensual massages to come.
You know that feeling of anticipation you get just before you're about to experience something really special? Sometimes that's the sweetest part of an encounter, the nerves, the excitement, the thrill of upcoming conquest. The air was full of such a build up and I knew the next 2 days were going to be a time to remember.
I'm so glad that the build up to the event was so fulfilling, and the event itself didn't disappoint either. Everyone who booked in turned up as promised which meant that I had catered for everyone perfectly.
Some people may critise the event due to the fact that I was the only person that booked in for the party, I take a different view. I'm on a mission to raise the awareness of the swinger lifestyle and I'm doing it single handed (in more ways than one).
I have received many messages of support in my quest and I thank you all for this, it's a bit like sailing round the world solo, nobody thinks anything less of someone achieving such a massive thing. My round Australia solo swingers party is really just the same, many people would just give up, but I'm here for the long haul.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love other people to join the party, but it's such a fulfilling experience to do something no one has ever taken on before.
For everyone who's waiting patiently for me to arrive in your town, please hang in a little longer. I won't be hosting a party next week, but I'll be posting details of my next event very soon.
If you would like me to come to your town for a party, please put in a request and I'll try and accommodate you as soon as bookings die down a little.
Due to popular demand I'm bringing my record breaking party back to melbourne this Thursday night.
I've been quietly taking bookings from my regulars behind the scenes, so I can assure everyone that I will be delivering exactly the same great experience you've become accustomed to from the worlds best travelling swingers party.
I thought I'd really spice things up and add a few more categories to fill up for the night, so if you fit into any of the following categories, there'll be a special place for you:
Nude yoga instructor
Contortionist
Belly dancer
Trapeze artist
Synchronised swimmers
Magician
Accountant (sorry, not for the party, just haven't done my tax yet)
in the spirit of full transparency it's time to list the attendees so far:
Single male 1
All others 0
As you can see from the huge variety of people not coming, this is going to be another night to remember and one certainly not to be missed. I know many of you will miss out again so I'll have a play report as soon as I can after the party.
Orgasminator
Hahaha what a great read! Love the attitude. Why not participate in chat rooms of the locations you'll be attending? At least people can get to know you and you never know what might happen.
I look forward to reading the next exciting chapter. Oh and I hope you're keeping all your receipts for your accountant.
Warming the Bed
Love your wit can't see why it's not working ...maybe join different stats chat rooms and see how that goes ..start some friendships etc. good luck T
Thanks Tara Vic and Goodandgreedy for your encouragement. I might drop by the chat room next party and let you all know how it's going as it happens.
Here's my long awaited play report from the last party:
I was reading about som other parties in melbourne during the week and was disappointed to hear of so many single guys attending with the expectation of sex from the ladies.
Once again I want to point out why my parties are so different, no one has ever attended the worlds best travelling swingers party with an expectation of sex. .
I've never had to turn someone away or kick someone out for inappropriate behaviour.
When people arrive at my party, they come with the quite reasonable understanding that nothing will happen that they don't want to or are fully comfortable with.
The fact that nothing they do want to happen will happen is a small price to pay for such piece of mind.
Last weeks party in melbourne was on the 17th floor of the Rydges in Exhibition st looking out over the city. I'm pleased to report that my 3rd party kept up the very high standards you've come to expect and I now have an unbroken record of zero attendance at all events.
I was hoping for a quick visit from the accountant, but looks like I'll have to pay to get my tax done like everyone else.
I'll post details of my next party soon, so watch this space!
Orgasminator
If we attend and there's more than 3 people I'll be able to claim it as a conference expense or training lol.
Quote by GoodandGreedy
If we attend and there's more than 3 people I'll be able to claim it as a conference expense or training lol.
Well we could come too then, just so you have the numbers for your scam.
But only if there will be boobs on display. :rascal:
Edit: We're not quite sure how you could claim this as "training". We think you probably know how to do it pretty damn well already!
Orgasminator
Quote by TemptedTwo
If we attend and there's more than 3 people I'll be able to claim it as a conference expense or training lol.
Well we could come too then, just so you have the numbers for your scam.
But only if there will be boobs on display. :rascal:
Edit: We're not quite sure how you could claim this as "training". We think you probably know how to do it pretty damn well already!
One can never have enough training in this department. I too vote for boobs on display ( .o. )Y( .o. )
My only worry with a training event is the requirement to have 3 people present. The main area that I haven't really been successful at is actually getting people to attend.
I've spent a few days running the numbers and I'm very keen to assist anyone in reducing their liability to the government. I for one would really like to stick it up the taxman (or anyone who comes to the party)
Let's have a go at a new concept and rebrand as "the world's best travelling swingers party training conference and tax reduction strategies massive one night seminar"
If anybody is interested in reducing their tax and learning how to run a swingers event that nobody ever actually attends, please come along to this exciting evening.
Our key note speaker will be discussing the following innovative strategies:
Tax breaks available to people taking up missionary positions
Opening a pet business to reduce tax doggy style
Reverse cowgirl mortgages
New pills that help you overcome a down turn
Fermtening apples naked - how to save tax in cider
Banking strategies - should you make an early withdrawal or leave a deposit
Marketing strategies - how to achieve superior penetration
Cancun or Ibiza - what you should know about off-shoring
I'll be announcing the date of this exciting event shortly and look forward to seeing you all there.
Quote by maxpower_
My only worry with a training event is the requirement to have 3 people present. The main area that I haven't really been successful at is actually getting people to attend.
I've spent a few days running the numbers and I'm very keen to assist anyone in reducing their liability to the government. I for one would really like to stick it up the taxman (or anyone who comes to the party)
Let's have a go at a new concept and rebrand as "the world's best travelling swingers party training conference and tax reduction strategies massive one night seminar"
If anybody is interested in reducing their tax and learning how to run a swingers event that nobody ever actually attends, please come along to this exciting evening.
Our key note speaker will be discussing the following innovative strategies:
Tax breaks available to people taking up missionary positions
Opening a pet business to reduce tax doggy style
Reverse cowgirl mortgages
New pills that help you overcome a down turn
Fermtening apples naked - how to save tax in cider
Banking strategies - should you make an early withdrawal or leave a deposit
Marketing strategies - how to achieve superior penetration
Cancun or Ibiza - what you should know about off-shoring
I'll be announcing the date of this exciting event shortly and look forward to seeing you all there.
:rotflmao::rotflmao: I know you've been waiting for the date of my semen-ar. This coming Thursday night in melbourne I'll be ready and waiting to host the masses of people interested in the arithmetic and taxation side of swinging.
Tempted and Greedy, I could really use your help to make this deductible so I'm extending a warm invitation to you both.
As always my party will be anticipated by many and probably attended by none, and while it's unique to run a swingers party for one, I'm thinking that running a tax reduction conference that runs at a loss and has so few attendees that it isn't even deductible is just as ironic.
In the likely event that my attendance record remains at 1, I will alternate between swinging and speaking on taxation to the uncrowded room during the evening. I can't wait to regale you all with the exhilarating tales of the conference with my next play report.
