Maybe its the legions of single men who think of swingers and immediately think of easy sex, and come on too strong. But that just isnst single men who do that, its also women and couples who are very pushy and don't like hearing no.
I know a few single men who are in it for the friendships and are very nice people indeed.
I also know of many couples and single men and women who look for single men to play with.
And I've also known a few rather insane single females who acted worse than some of the worst single men I've seen.
Single men as a whole, seem to have a pretty bad image, and it really annoys me when you get people going off about single men because of this image - and yet they have never experienced any of what they are saying themselves.
People need to look past the gender sometimes, especially if they're also looking for friendships, and look at who the person actually is. They might be surprised by what they find then.
Instead of saying its a single male problem - people need to realise that it happens across all genders and couple statuses. You will always find people who think swinging equals free porn, and think because you live in the same town as someone else its an immediate yes to fucking them. Maybe single men are just more outspoken so they get the bad rap for the behaviour, while females and couples tend to talk privately about these things.
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Why are single guys so disliked here
Sex God
An interesting subject about swinging single males , we are undecided on the term used with single males as swingers and was talking with a few friends recently on the subject and they all seemed to think that how can a single person male or female be a swinger if they dont have someone to swing with
We sort of lean towards yes they can be
What would other peoples thoughts be on it aswell as would be interested to know
Cheers Melbcpl01
Quote by melbcpl01
An interesting subject about swinging single males , we are undecided on the term used with single males as swingers and was talking with a few friends recently on the subject and they all seemed to think that how can a single person male or female be a swinger if they dont have someone to swing with
We sort of lean towards yes they can be
What would other peoples thoughts be on it aswell as would be interested to know
Cheers Melbcpl01
I agree that single guys get a bad rap here and on any of the 'swingers' sites and it's frustrating and demeaning being treated like a pariah. I have been swinging since I was 22 both as an individual (yes, a dreaded 'single' male) and with different partners.
In this time I/we have encountered a variety of situations and heard a zillion excuses. One of the major drawbacks that myself and partners have found is there are a lot of single males who are less than economical with the truth and you find out that they're married or have a girlfriend.
Over the years we have encountered numerous guys who turn up to an arranged meeting without their wife/girlfriend only to find she was called into work at the last minute, has food poisoning, a relative died or some other excuse. Strange thing is that they have arrived without their partner ready to play!!??? The best was one guy even brought a photo of his 'wife' to show us, she was wearing a nurses uniform and of course had been called into work at the last minute.
In our experiences, these are real single guys trying their luck but wasting everyones time because all the genuine couples who cancel do so by phone rather than the guy turning up with an excuse.
But what about the term "Swingers" it's kind of cheesy and outdated. I don't know about you lot but it brings instant 70's visions of car keys being put into the fruit bowl at a dinner party and a whole lot of wide flares, collars and moustaches, ... the halter tops I like! LOL
Warming the Bed
The name of this site is swingersheavan not singles heavan
Warming the Bed
Single males are the spice of (advanced)swinging.
Warming the Bed
I don't mind single blokes but like I said in a dogging post you get 10 or 15 blokes turn up and it's a bit intimidating.
I wouldn't mind the od gang bang but not 15 to 1
well your right in that single guys do get a bad rap, we read often of the "outcasts of the swingers world".
In reality we encourage the single guys as much as the couples but after a really abusive email today from a single guy who was asking for details on dogging I can imagine it is easy to "categorised".
Subject was how to get into dogging in victoria and please send details of where, when and he was a great guy etc etc.
We suggested via pm that perhaps having a pic available even via private gallery might increase his chances.
Well after the tirade of abuse we decided he probably wasnt going to get an invite from us to meet. Happy to expand if anyone cares.
Anyway.
Single guys, as we said we encourage. All we ask is that (potentially contrary to the "dogging" code) we see a pic of who we might be going to meet for such an occassion. For couples we are more relaxed, hmmm is that a safe thing lol ?
Is this unreasonable ? if so it appears we might be in the wrong and happy to admit so but it would mean we no longer feel dogging is for us.
What does the forum think on this ??
i heard on the radio today for the single men lookin for the quick pickups...
i entered this forum and chat room as a single male. Lost the fb that was keen to do this with me just before i joined, so rather than claim couple status (many do) i went the honest way as single male. I think the key is much like sammi said, be yourself, make friends and above all be honest and open. A swinger lifestyle is not about free easy sex, its about open and honest fun with likeminded people.
No one is going to jump up and scream yes when the post comes in "anyone looking for fun in xxxx" coz it's been posted 50 times today already. What makes you so special??? What makes the man woman or couple say OMG i want him??? Being rude, arrogant or whispering without asking only makes everyone suffer for ones stupidity and ignorance.
Ive always had the swinger mindset and for may years ive tried to fight it to keep my more conservative partners happy. Now im exploring it and opening my eyes to all i had done and so much more and im happy to say im doing it as a single male. Im a mad flirt on chat but i have my limits and when it gets serious i like to get comfortable also. But bottom line is dont let the stigma hold you back guys, if you are a single male swinger at heart, you already know the keys to getting involved. 
I tend to agree with Gigglynurse, if your a single guy you need to have a public or at least private pic available, which isn't a big ask and it shows good faith, sincerity even honesty, ... that is if the pic is recent, Lol.
Again experience has taught me that the rude, pushy ignorant and dare I say illiterate types who just fire off 'half cocked' (pun intended) emails without reading a profile are unfortunately over represented on most sites.
Our profile states that we won't answer 'one liner' emails and that a photo and a contactable phone number accompanying a message is a minimum standard.
That said it is also common that couples are guilty of being just as obnoxious. We have had many couples and single guys and single girls contact us only to not show, cancel at the last minute or even more frustrating lead you on for a few emails then you hear nothing more from them.
We could go on for an infinate time about the various pitfalls in 'playing' but realistically there is a lot of bullshit detecting that has to be done and so some people try to limit this by stating no single guys, we will contact you.
After all,. ... single guys are the majority here and they should also realise that that equates with it being a 'buyers' market to term a phrase. So you really need to have your shit together guys.
Finally, we have had contact with some genuine single guys.
Casanova
Yes, single guys do get a bad rap on here, but the biggest percentage are doing the right thing. Because there seems to be more single guys than any other category, there are going to be a largher number that do the wrong thing, which will add to the perception. If they are honest and open people that are looking for single guys (and a lot of people do) will consider them. Just remember, as the pool is big the competition is great, so the more details and pics you provide, the greater the chance of finding success.. As for the comment that seeing "no single males" annoys you, it is possible that this is the exact attitude that people dont like. Everyone has the right to decide who they want to play with, and being told that this is unfair, is just wrong. If you see that on a profile, walk away, look somewhere else and dont bother them, unless you want to be abused and reported.
Forum Virgin
I think it really comes down to having the right attitude, whether your a single guy, single girl or a couple. Honesty is always the best policy.
Forum Virgin
I think it really comes down to having the right attitude, whether your a single guy, single girl or a couple. Honesty is always the best policy.
Warming the Bed
Just to add the the debate, why are single guys charged more than single girls for various functions, venues and clubs?
Do guys really cost more? Personally I think it is called discrimination!
Do guys really cost more? Personally I think it is called discrimination!
Quote by hfyf_80
i heard on the radio today for the single men lookin for the quick pickups...
i entered this forum and chat room as a single male. Lost the fb that was keen to do this with me just before i joined, so rather than claim couple status (many do) i went the honest way as single male. I think the key is much like sammi said, be yourself, make friends and above all be honest and open. A swinger lifestyle is not about free easy sex, its about open and honest fun with likeminded people.
No one is going to jump up and scream yes when the post comes in "anyone looking for fun in xxxx" coz it's been posted 50 times today already. What makes you so special??? What makes the man woman or couple say OMG i want him??? Being rude, arrogant or whispering without asking only makes everyone suffer for ones stupidity and ignorance.
Ive always had the swinger mindset and for may years ive tried to fight it to keep my more conservative partners happy. Now im exploring it and opening my eyes to all i had done and so much more and im happy to say im doing it as a single male. Im a mad flirt on chat but i have my limits and when it gets serious i like to get comfortable also. But bottom line is dont let the stigma hold you back guys, if you are a single male swinger at heart, you already know the keys to getting involved.
Sexlightened
Quote by alwaysnoode
Just to add the the debate, why are single guys charged more than single girls for various functions, venues and clubs?
Do guys really cost more? Personally I think it is called discrimination!
Because they can and you'll pay as mentioned earlier it simply comes down to numbers - the old supply and demand.
Virtually no supply of single females and high demand = low cost to increase supply
50/50 supply and demand by couples = mid way cost point
Huge supply and limited demand = Highest cost point due to limited demand
Gel is right
Males get charged more because theres so many of them, females get charged less to make it seem more attractive
And why are there so many males versus females?
Probably because its said to be easier for men to have no strings fun and be highly sexed while for females they tend to get a little emotionally attached and jealous etc etc etc
plus the stigma attached to having lots of sex, for men its seen as a good thing for women its bad
perhaps if society were more equal, we'd see things even up on sites like this 
Isn't swinging by definition sharing and experiencing yourself with a variety of different partners? (Monogamous vs. non-monogamous?) Wouldn't this mean that single males are more attractive?
Swinging should be based on your own personal preferences not competing. Females, single males and couples shouldn't feel the need to compete against one another.
If you are looking for one partner or not willing to share yourself with more than just one partner, or like people competing for your attention, this isn't the place for you!
This is why people get upset and where the pain comes in, rejection for having to complete.
We do not think it is a question of being liked or disliked, but rather a question of imbalance in the sheers numbers of single blokes.
We had a dabble with the profile search function and found the following;
There are currently 38579 profiles are available on this site for browsing. But of course it does change by the minute.
19672 are single males, 1028 are single females, and 5026 are couples (M+F). That still leaves some 13,000 uncategorised we know, but perhaps the search engine was having a bad night.
Of the 19,762 males, 14,977 were straight, 4,990 bi and or curious, 53 gay, and 31 TS/TV/CD.
Of the 1038 females, 419 were straight. 543 bi and or curious, 30 gay, and 6 TS/TV/CD.
There were 5026 couples (M+F).
4,146 males were seeking couples, but only 1,018 couples were seeking males.
6,292 males were seeking females, but alas only 359 females were seeking males, however 492 females were seeking other females.
Asd for the 5026 couples, 4,146 were seeking other couples, and only 1,018 were seeking males.
So it would seem from the numbers, couples prefer couples, females prefer females, and blokes prefer everyone, LOL.
I do LOVE the couples who state how swinging is only for couples yet they also look for single females
If you are a couple who only want to play with couples - please feel free to block the male and female accounts from messaging you
Actually ANYONE please feel free to block the account types that you dont want to meet/fuck from messaging you.
This site is a swingers site, but it is also a dogging and singles resource. This site does not discriminate on who wants to join as long as they are over the age of 18.
It'd be great if people could remember that.
this post actually asks the question why are single guys so disliked here, and has ended up with couples stating that swinging should only be for couples and offering their own personal experiences and adding in 'proof' and statements that swinging is only for couples.
It's generally only the couples whom state over and over again swinging is for couples in response to a 'single' male, who are also looking for females.
We have another post which asks for clarification on the swinging terminology which I see has also had a number of couples explain their thoughts and the meanings, some of which have doubled up in this post.
Unfortunately my post was seen as an attack and not an opinion nor a bit of help for those who were not aware you could block account types.
I wonder if anyone has taken into account our changing society and how people are't expected to get married at a young age anymore?
Seeing as traditionally, swinging was started in an era where you did get married and start a family and do all of those things, so there would be a higher concentration of couples in which to meet and bond with.
Now days there is no expectations to get married, you dont need to be in a relationship to start a family and we have so many more epople who are single, most of whom choose to be that way.
The terminology for swinging hasnt changed from when it was first introduced to society, I like to think that sites like this which allow singles and couples to interact with each other in a swinging environment are creating more acceptance to change within the lifestyle and openness to people outside of the traditional values.
Society has changed, why cant swinging change as well to reflect this?
Quote by Sammi
The terminology for swinging hasnt changed from when it was first introduced to society, I like to think that sites like this which allow singles and couples to interact with each other in a swinging environment are creating more acceptance to change within the lifestyle and openness to people outside of the traditional values.
Society has changed, why cant swinging change as well to reflect this?
Sammi we have been swinging since before you were born (good grief what an admission to make, LOL). In essence what Michael and Debbie have said regarding the origins of swinging is essentially correct in our experience. In those days you either met other swinging couples through personal introductions, or if you were game, thumbed thought the ads in publications such as Rosie and sent off your coded reply envelope to the advertiser, through the magazine mail room and waited sometimes weeks for a response. The internet of course changed all that.
The reason single blokes were not encouraged in those days was in part due to the requirement for strict confidentiality on the part of participating couples. A picture in Rosie of a bloke playing with his dick did little to inspire us frankly. And the other issue of course was, what extra benefits was a single bloke going to bring to our experience? Was he likely to become a long term friend as many of our then playmate couples turned out to be. We never found out. Was our swinging experience that much poorer for not doing so?
But we take your point regarding the changeability in the interpretation of words over time. Is swinging any different for us than is was 30 years ago? Not really in our opinion. Our preference is still for other couples and the swingers club that we belong to (Newcastle Swingers Club) has been operating for over 30 years. To to this day strictly couples only, and that we feel has been the cornerstone of it's longevity.
The discussion continues ........................
thanks for your post nomads - nice to see firsthand experience that isnt recent or in the last 20 years as ive come to realise things really did start to change a bit more.
I respect couples who wish to only play with couples, and i think that it is great there are venues which are couples only.
I just see a lot of people not respecting that singles want to swing now.
whilst traditional values may work for many, we do have new faces coming into the scene everyday those of which who are more openminded or accepting of everything else there is.
the only ones who i think shouldnt be on sites like this are those who think swinging means easy and free sex - and it aint just the single males who do it ;)
Quote by Sammi
I just see a lot of people not respecting that singles want to swing now.
Sammi we guess your statement above some's up, what we would see as a juxtaposition, for in our day single blokes went out met girls, formed relationships, and had fun. So where has it all gone wrong?
Perhaps the single blokes of today are lacking the seductive skills required to woo a lady and therefore turn to a pretence of swinging? Perhaps little value is placed on relationships any more? Perhaps the ladies of today don't need blokes? What to our readers think?????? Are single blokes of today lacking in social skills?????
I wouldnt know
when I was single I quite enjoyed swinging
yes I went out and had casual sex with others - but I also really enjoyed having a swinging relationship with couples
I stayed single for so long because I didnt want a relationship and especially as no one i met understood why I liked to do what I did, then I fell out of the lifestyle for a bit and got married, eventually began swinging again but as a couple.
I probably could have been married 10 times over before I actually met pax, the thing was I didnt want to settle down, I didnt want to be committed, especially not to anyone who didnt understand how I was. Especially being bi, for some reason the guys I met liked the idea of me being bi but only when it wasnt a relationship.
Maybe for males and females alike who choose to stay single its because theres no pressure for them to form relationships, get married have a family?
Well Sammi therein lies the dilemma, for swinging grew out of couples in a committed relationship seeking to expand their sexual horizons with other like minded committed relationship couples. A nice even balance with a potential win win situation for both couples concerned. As has been well documented, swinging can be extremely exhilarating for couples secure in their relationship and an absolute disaster for couples seeking to save their relationship.
As you have elaborated, some singles are hesitant for whatever reason, on the relationship front. So what do singles bring to the table when seeking to swing with couples. In our experience male singles are only required when the male partner is impotent, the male partner is bi, or the lady is seeking multiple male partners.
We would be interested to read other person's experiences??????
Quote by Sammi
not everyone lieks being patronised for having a different view
Pont taken Sammi and the entitlement to be of such a persuasion, is without question in our view.
Let's see if we can broaden the discussion a tad without hijacking it too much.
Do gay male couples also swing? Do lesbian female couples also swing? And if so, how accommodating of single males are they?
P.S. This is a friendly discussion, let us keep it that way, so hopefully we can all become somewhat more enlightened on the notion of swinging.
Quote by bitannedman
..WE contact the guys 99% of the time. .
Thanks for your input bitannedman. But as you readily admit, you are somewhat proactive in approaching the single guys, not that we are suggesting that in being bi you have a vested interest in doing so. Perhaps then some discourse is warranted on the joys of bisexuality as a means of reducing the number of approaches from single males that we get, LOL. Hmmmm maybe even an inbuilt auto referral process on the site to profiles seeking single blokes may be warranted.
You seem to agree regarding the ineptitude of toay's single males in presenting themselves as in a positive fashion. Line's such as, "I have a big cock and I can go all night", "I have a fantasy about fucking older women", do little to inspire our enthusiasm. We suggest that such lines are testimony to their single status. They seem to be of the view that it is, "all about them". For us swinging is experiencing the delight of your partner/s, perhaps a tad more that the id based, "it is all for me".
As we said before, subtle seduction is a dying art or is it????
Well the originator of this thread posed the question, "why are single guys so disliked here", and while we are not for a moment conceding that such is the case, it would be fair to say that single guys have received "quite a spray" in this thread.
But an even and balanced discussion, requires a variety of opinions. Single guys are by far the vast majority of users on this site, so wake up silent majority and let's hear from you.
P.S. bitannedman we rather like the term "swingle". Very apt we think.
