Sooooo, im new here and if you read my profile you will see that I have HSV2 (Herpes Simplex Virus). I figured I would open up a chat to throw it out there and find out how many others are in my shoes but hiding in the shadows. No need to reply here if you want to remain anonymous, feel free to PVT message me.
With 1 in 8 people in Australia carrying the virus I know Im not the only one on this site, but might be the only one up front about it which I can totally understand.
Anyway, its an open topic, I want to hear anyone's thoughts negative or positive. Im also happy to answer any questions people may have around HSV to try and help dispel any myths and educate the wider swinging community. Hopefully reduce some of the stigma attached to the virus while I am at it.
Remember the stats, if you have 8 friends or more (and I hope you all do) then you already know someone who has it, they may have even been in your house woooo scary!
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HSV Swingers
Warming the Bed
I just have to commend you for taking the courage to be upfront and honest about having HPV. Not only that but also wanting to assist others in educating about the disease which can work twofold; 1. helping others who are in the same boat and 2. helping those of us like myself who don't but can learn everything we can about preventing it. All I know is that it is one of the highly contagious STD's around and like clammydia is a silent disease.
So thanks again for being honest and putting yourself out there.
Orgasminator
Quote by mattandmegan
Oops my bad!! When I saw you username as HSVGUY I just assumed you were into Holdens. Lucky you only have an STD ......phew!!
Quote by mattandmegan
Oops my bad!! When I saw you username as HSVGUY I just assumed you were into Holdens. Lucky you only have an STD ......phew!!
Actually, they're called an STI these days. Sexually Transmitted Infection.
So I always laugh at HSV and WRX STI owners. Usually as they disappear in my rear view mirror.
But back on topic... herpes has always been one of our fears. Some people don't know that they have it and some don't know when they're contagious. They can be contagious without visible symptoms and in areas that aren't covered by a condom. It amazes us that herpes isn't absolutely rife in the swinging community. Or maybe it is, and so far we've just been very lucky.
On the other hand - what's the big deal? Something like 80% of the population has HSV1 (most commonly surfacing as cold sores around the mouth) and it can be transmitted just by kissing. Many babies get it from being kissed by their parents. Usually after a few initial outbreaks it settles down and reappears only very rarely during the rest of your life. Few people spare a thought or care about HSV1 but are terrified of HSV2. I think HSV2 is feared is because it's sexually transmitted and effects your most precious parts, and both of those carry a heavy stigma. But, as far as health conditions go, it's pretty trivial.
That's it, as far as STI/STDs go its actually fairly tame. Few cold sores now and then on your private parts and that's it. There are a lot worse things you can catch with far greater impact to your health that are sexually transmitted.
It's a common misconception that the type of infection determines the area of outbreak too. While in the past HSV1 would mainly appear around the lips and HSV2 around the genitals, these days they are pretty much evenly distributed between the two areas due to the increase in people performing oral sex, it's even possible to catch both strains though very rare and both can be transmitted through contact with the infected area both before and during an outbreak.
In some ways I'm actually glad I don't get outbreaks on my mouth as I see how embarrassed some people get with a cold sore stuck to their lip. Nobody knows when mine pop up, the only down side is the stigma attached to outbreaks in the genital region. That's partly why I'm trying to encourage this conversation, to try and lessen some of that stigma.
Out of curiosity, how long have you had it and how often do you get an outbreak?
I know people who have oral herpes (I presume HSV1) but I've only seen them with an outbreak maybe once in 5 years or more. Is HSV2 more virulent?
Also, do you know (or suspect) who you caught it from? Did they know they had it? Did you know?
I have had for about 10 years now and unfortunately I don't know who gave it to me as I was a fairly busy young man at the time if you get what I mean hahaha, ah the good old days. I have my suspicions though. These days I might bet a breakout once or twice a year, HSV2 is the more aggressive strain unfortunately and pops up more frequently. It depends a lot on your health at the time as well, you tend to get more outbreaks if you are run down or live an unhealthy lifestyle as your body's defence systems are not 100%. That's why people might get a cold sore when they have an actual cold, hence the name.
Quote by HSVGUY
I have had for about 10 years now and unfortunately I don't know who gave it to me as I was a fairly busy young man at the time if you get what I mean hahaha, ah the good old days. I have my suspicions though. These days I might get a breakout once or twice a year, HSV2 is the more aggressive strain unfortunately and pops up more frequently. It depends a lot on your health at the time as well, you tend to get more outbreaks if you are run down or live an unhealthy lifestyle as your body's defence systems are not 100%. That's why people might get a cold sore when they have an actual cold, hence the name.
Sexpert
thanks for the information, its good to hear people getting out there
And I guess the question is, since you've known, have you always forewarned sexual partners about your condition? Or do you simply avoid sex when you think you're contagious? What have been other peoples reactions?
Do you know other people with the condition, and their attitudes towards play?
To be honest I generally won't say anything to new partners unless it progresses to a potential regular thing. I always use condoms and at the stage where I'm fairly in tune with what is happening down there and so avoid sex when I feel an outbreak coming on. The people I have told so far have all been very understanding and receptive because I make sure that I give them all the info they need to make an informed decision on if they want to continue playing, so far none have chosen not to although I have heard stories of people taking the opposite stance when confronted with "the talk". I have met people through other websites who say they do the same thing. One woman regularly attends swingers parties but again, always uses condoms and stays away if there is anything going on downstairs at the time.
Whether its right or wrong, I think a lot of people in my situation do the same thing.
Quote by HSVGUY
Whether its right or wrong, I think a lot of people in my situation do the same thing.
That's what scares us. Our understanding is that outbreaks can appear in (and be caught through) areas not protected by a condom, and people can be contagious before they have any symptoms. So carriers can be spreading it without being aware of an outbreak and despite barrier protection. Even if condoms do reduce the overall contact area, unprotected oral sex is rife in the swinging community (especially going down on a woman - nobody ever bothers with a dental dam and would probably get laughed at if they did). Or a guy strokes his infected cock and then reaches down to rub a woman's pussy. BAM! Infection transmitted!
We appreciate your honesty and we're not surprised that many people hide their condition from casual partners. We wonder what we would do in your situation.
And, of course, the flip side... who ever announces they have oral herpes before kissing someone? The fear of STIs propagates a double standard here.
Yes, unfortunately the risk is always there, even with condoms, and as you mentioned earlier it's possible to carry and transmit the virus without even knowing you have it. It is possible to manage the virus and still have a healthy sex life without impacting other people though, as long as you are careful. I have had many ongoing partners who were aware of my condition and never caught it.
I just wanted to bump up this thread. HSVGUY You're awesome, thanks for being so upfront and honest, not many people are. I can count on one hand the amount of people I have known who have been so honest about their situation.
STI's are a real thing and they are much more common than most realise or care to know. All it takes is a bit of education and honest conversation to help remove the stigma surrounding them.
Remember people, the more you know, the better you can protect yourself.
And for those who are worried about a condom not covering enough, the female condom is designed to cover the outer area for protection against skin to skin transmitted infections.
i would like to thank hsvguy
as i to thought your nic was about holdens
thank you for being honest and open with us all .
hopefully with a little education from someone with first hand experience we can all get a better understanding
so thank you for your honesty mate , so refreshing to see
cheers
mick
Another thought struck us today. HSVGUY - forget swinging, does having genital herpes make it more difficult to find a serious relationship? We understand a few (very few) people may be happy to have sex with you, accepting the risk on a one off basis. But If you're in a long term relationship with somebody, that small risk is massively multiplied over time and there's probably every expectation that your partner will eventually catch it too. We can't imagine too many people wanting to hook up permanently with someone knowing it likely commits themselves to catching an incurable disease.
Wow, just checked back on this thread after some time and appreciate all the support guys, cheers. To answer your question TemptedTwo, I have actually never had anyone decide not to pursue a relationship with me because I have herpes. Im not sure if that is because the people I have dated so far have all been very open minded and took the time to understand the virus or if its just a reflection of my evidently irresistible animal magnetism, lol! Seriously though, I guess its up to the person and how they feel, once they have done a bit of research on what herpes actually is and don't just run away at the word, most people are pretty cool with it. It would be like saying to someone you don't wan to kiss them because they get cold sores every now and then. That said though, I am sure there are still people who would run for the hills once confronted with this scenario, I just seem to be lucky enough to not have not been attracted to any so far.
