The wife and myself were discussing what feelings we had about swapping and what are the boundaries we set for one another if we were to go through with it. Long story short we have been together 30 odd years and with her she has been with nobody else but me. The only thing of excitement or swinging was a one night threesome 12 months ago.
Now during our discussion it was agreed we may go through with swinging as long as we do it as a couple. Basically saying not go out dating singly rather than going out as couples.
I guess what I am asking was do you let your partners go out by themselves with others for dates and stay overs at others places or what guidelines do you guys play by.
Join the most popular community of Australian swingers now
Login
Guidelines with partner on swinging
Guys we have been swinging for a very long time and have been married for over 40 years. We think the fact that we only ever play together has the been cornerstone in us having a solid loving relationship and having so much fun over the years. Playing separately we think, is a good recipe for drifting away from one another. Others of course, may have a contrary view.
we started off swinging with an open relationship
That didnt work out so now we only do it as a couple
one thing that has always be constant though is the fact we are upfront and honest about what we want and what we want to do especially when it comes to other people.
One bit of advice I can give - if it starts causing jealously or resentment - stop.
We have been swinging as a couple for around 5 years now so feel that we can throw in a bit to the discussion.
First off and most important from our view is that both parties must want to swing or play with other people, neither should be forced or feel obligated to do so because the other party wishes them to participate.
Second, your relationship must be strong in every way as we have seen people who thought they were ready to play freeze and experience doubts at the time of playing, sadly that has at times affected some relationships. So make sure your are both ready and we would suggest do this by getting naked at the beach, or in a spa etc where other people are around. If one gets pangs of jealousy than we would not recommend swinging just yet.
Third is to make sure that you are in control of the situation when/if you choose to go through and both of you need to be in control not one. Ensure that you have 'exit' plans worked out should one feel uncomfortable or simply not be ready with the other party, and if that occurs discuss it openly as it may be the other party and not your partner.
If all goes well just enjoy the moment and company as there is a lot to be learnt about yourselves individually and as a couple by enjoying someone else give pleasure to your loved one. For us it has been a great experience and we have found it has bought our already close relationship closer.
Have fun and happy experimenting
Shell and GAZ
We have been swinging as a couple for around 5 years now so feel that we can throw in a bit to the discussion.
First off and most important from our view is that both parties must want to swing or play with other people, neither should be forced or feel obligated to do so because the other party wishes them to participate.
Second, your relationship must be strong in every way as we have seen people who thought they were ready to play freeze and experience doubts at the time of playing, sadly that has at times affected some relationships. So make sure your are both ready and we would suggest do this by getting naked at the beach, or in a spa etc where other people are around. If one gets pangs of jealousy than we would not recommend swinging just yet.
Third is to make sure that you are in control of the situation when/if you choose to go through and both of you need to be in control not one. Ensure that you have 'exit' plans worked out should one feel uncomfortable or simply not be ready with the other party, and if that occurs discuss it openly as it may be the other party and not your partner.
If all goes well just enjoy the moment and company as there is a lot to be learnt about yourselves individually and as a couple by enjoying someone else give pleasure to your loved one. For us it has been a great experience and we have found it has bought our already close relationship closer.
Have fun and happy experimenting
EDIT:
On the play together/ alone side we are very open and have done the alone play be that at a party where one heads off or on the rare occasion we have played alone with a third party whilst the other stayed home.
We have only done the stay home side a few times with people we have met prior and played with as a couple and from our side the fun is still had as often the home partner is so ridiculously turned on it makes for some rollicking sex later.
But we must stress, it is not for everyone and we take precautions including 'check in' times etc and would again say that it will not happen with just anyone but someone whom we know reasonably well (including knowing their home address etc)
Shell and Gaz
Sexlightened
Open relationships can be an amateurs mistake if you start off there because I will remind guys of a simple fact......
How easy is it for your girl to 'pick up' vs how hard is it for a guy? So thats why alot of people only play together.
we have an open relationship plus we have been doing it for over 20 had are very happy in our fact it made it got rid of the jealously.i mean whos that guy or that can go out with who ever an no over the years with sum couples we have met we have noticed that its mostly the male partner that has a problem with open relationships and even with swinging getting pissed off cause his partner is having a good time.
