Baabaa's advice line

2 Mar 2012

Quote by Lucas91
Dr. Baa,
Read a few of your solutions, and although some of it sounded batshit crazy, I'm going to ask for your advice anyway.
My previous relationship came screaming to a halt and ended when I asked my bi girlfriend what she thought about 3sums. I thought that with her being bisexual and very open about sex, she'd take such a question with a grain of salt or at least a bit of humour, but no, she screamed, slapped me, and stormed out of the room.
And so my question is- if ever in a situation where asking a future partner about non mainstream sexual activities (such as threesomes, swinging, cuckolding, dogging, gangbangs, etc.) how should I go about it, other than making sure the room has no sharp objects within her reach?
Thanks in advance,
Lucas91

Lucas ... you have come to the right place for advice ... assuming that one's sexual orientation is a guarantee of 3sum heaven is frought with danger. I think you need assess the depth of your relationship before moving into this area.
First explore the boundaries of your sexual relationship together before moving into the concept of introducing another party into the equation. What for example have you tried as a duo .. where have you challenged your sexual boundaries as a couple?
All your examples of "non" mainstream activities can be quite confronting for anyone and all of them you have identfied involve others. How about you develop your trust together and build slowly to these areas .. you may get there and in many instances you may not. Just don't go expecting that because you are interested than any partner will be ... it takes time and in a lot of instances luck in finding the right partner.
In the meantime if you chose to continue on your path as you were I would invest in some self defence classes and start using plastic cutlery in your house smile

15 Mar 2012

Quote by deuxplaisircpl
Hi Baabaa,
Have you noticed that NRL season seems to be starting earlier each year? Round 1 started before the international cricket season had ended. This appears outside the natural order of things. We think that exceeding temporal and seasonal norms like this is nearly as dangerous as the Y2K bug was.
Is it just a coincidence that this has occurred within daylight savings periods and during an abnormal La Nina weather cycle that has made summer disappear - perhaps starting footy season early is how the distempered universe can be balanced through the life giving tonic of sport.
Baabaa - how did we survive the Cold War and the threat of nuclear annihilation between the superpowers only to have conflicting sports seasons foisted upon us???
Also - well done with the last Sydney Meet and Greet!!!
Love from Deux

Deux
Well the earlier seasons have been an issue but not as much as the cricket season which in reality never ends. No sooner than the domestic season ends that the Australian team heads over to the Carribean. One wonders home much bleach is being used to keep all those clothes so white. I'm sure the escalation in bleach usage can be mapped and a direct correlation established against the crazy weather we are experiencing.
In addition cricket has introduced a strange entry into the world of celebrity. From twitter scandals of a blonde leggie to the exploits of a tattooed captain and his choice of arm candy. The obsession has become a sport in its wn right and has dominated news in a way that wars in the past have. Propaganda has always played a big role in the development and increase in cross border tensions. Now we have a new entry into the venacular the WAG. Oh we have turned the page and entered the twilight zone (and no I'm not talking about vampires).
It is a different world that we live in today. Wars are played out in the media and have almost become simply background noise to the world of reality tv.
As I sit here on my iPad with the world at my finger tips I take solace in knowing that I'm in the company of a great group of people. If anyone can keep it real in this world it is this group we call swingers.
Take care and thanks for coming to the meet.
Dr baa

19 Mar 2012

Folks I think the day may have arrived. The doc has worked hard and helped many. The job appears to be done. Thank you all for the many problems to solve and the opportunity to share my views. It is time to start a new leaf. I maybe back and perhaps in another guise. For those on personal treatments my services will continue. For new patients openings are by appointment only. I bid a fond farewell. Adios for now smile

20 Mar 2012

Quote by baabaa5
Folks I think the day may have arrived. The doc has worked hard and helped many. The job appears to be done. Thank you all for the many problems to solve and the opportunity to share my views.
It is time to start a new leaf. I maybe back and perhaps in another guise. For those on personal treatments my services will continue. For new patients openings are by appointment only.
I bid a fond farewell.
Adios for now

:eeek::upset::upset::upset::upset::upset::upset::upset::upset:
How will we survive without the Dr baa and his advise :jagsatwork:

21 Mar 2012

Darn! No More Dr Baa? I think I may need a support group to cope with my withdrawal symptons!

31 Mar 2012

............Sir Baabaa should not finish providing gems of wisdom to the SH masses but rather continue his charitable work of providing advice to the needy... biggrin

So, what say you Baabaa? will you accept the god given responsibility thrust upon you and continue to help out your fellow men (and ladies) in need? All in favour, say "Aye":bounce: 69position

31 Mar 2012

No way baa you cant leave us without your treatments and wonderful can we turn to but you when the shit hits the are the only one that we can turn too when we have a sticky or non sticky problem. You have so much good work on SH please please dont stop this. cheers needachange Damm its like losing your left ball,you know it was always there but you never miss it till its gone :doh::violin::sticky:

2 Apr 2012

Quote by PeekaBooWeeSeeU
............Sir Baabaa should not finish providing gems of wisdom to the SH masses but rather continue his charitable work of providing advice to the needy...
So, what say you Baabaa? will you accept the god given responsibility thrust upon you and continue to help out your fellow men (and ladies) in need?
All in favour, say "Aye":bounce:

Never say never.
If there is real need I will not turn my back

28 Apr 2012

Ok all I'm feeling refreshed and in a bit of a mood so I'm ready to get back into it. Let's see who is the first cab of the rank????? Dr baa is back !!!

28 Apr 2012

Oh thank goodness ..... how would we manage without DrBaa ..... wink

Ok DrBaa ..... I am going to have to think of a problem for you smile

I will be back :)

2 May 2012

Ahh, the world is in order again. lol

3 May 2012

Quote by Jazz_10
Oh thank goodness ..... how would we manage without DrBaa .....
Ok DrBaa ..... I am going to have to think of a problem for you I will be back :)

Looking forward to it Jazz. Now what dilemma could you possibly have ;)

3 May 2012

OK Baa ..... well as one of my favourite single guys .... explain to me why SOME and I stress some ... single males assume that just because I am a girl that I want to meet them??? A penis is not the only thing that attracts me to a male ... I wonder how their brains works assuming that it means I want them ... awaiting your wonderful advice Dr Baa ....

5 May 2012

Quote by Jazz_10
OK Baa ..... well as one of my favourite single guys .... explain to me why SOME and I stress some ... single males assume that just because I am a girl that I want to meet them???
A penis is not the only thing that attracts me to a male ... I wonder how their brains works assuming that it means I want them ...
awaiting your wonderful advice Dr Baa ....

Ahhh ... what a topic to come back to .. the single male dilemma and further more the workings of what is in the mind of a single male
I have thought long and hard about whether explaining this would be of any benefit and whether it does me any favours or not ...
Well here goes .....
Males are generally quite simple creatures and more often than not their minds are more attuned to primal instincts ... Lets consider this one difference:
Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
On a different note however I do think men are able to separate information, stimulus, emotions, relationships, etc. into separate compartments in their brains, while women tend to link everything together. This means that men when they are on here rely on behaviours that they traditionally associate with obtaining sex.
This ability to compartmentalise is why a man can put his involvement with pornography in one compartment-or cellular-memory group-in his brain, and his relationship with his partner in another. He may consider the two to be completely unrelated. Many men can't understand why their partner makes such a big emotional fuss when she finds out he has been viewing pornography
So a single guy on an internet swingers site would tend to fall into the category of the very stereotypical "penile" focussed individual.. What most haven't yet learnt is that the secret to meeting and success is not pleasing your own desires but finding out what pleases others.
Yes as single guys the greatest disservice they do to themselves is only thinking about what they can get out of being here (for themselves).. sure occasionally there are instances where this may work but if you look beyond your own desires you will actually find greater satisfaction.
Now this is in no way explains all that is the male mind however there are a number of other differences which shall remain unsaid :censored:

15 May 2012

Just read you advice on single male which i know for sure some of what you spoke of applies to me.I've sent out a couple of PM to couples and single ladies who state on their profile that they are looking for some problem here if i may speak for some single guy on SH is that most profiles are miss leading and most single ladies (no offence intended) state on their profile that they are only looking for to a guy is no emotional attachment is needed and that's why they get so many messages from single guys going straight to the point,for guys we see the color blue as blue and not dark blue,light blue or navy blue while ladies tend to see things in a different who have stated in their profile that they are not just looking for a one nighter or a quickie get a well composed message from me and we've gotten to chatting a few occasions. Love your advice and would definitely work on some of the issues which involves me as a single guy .Thanks

15 May 2012

See Baa this is why you cant leave us smile

..... as always you deal with things with a splash of humor and some great advice .... Now ..... seeing as we always have the Sydney V Melb challenge's ... Lets see come July who parties harder :) hhhhmmmm now as for advice ..... here's a giggle for you ...... why do guys who are dating a straight girl think that putting girl on girl porn on will have any affect on a straight woman? We had this discussion of coffee the other day and thought you'd have fun with it :)

22 May 2012

Quote by amichigo
Just read you advice on single male which i know for sure some of what you spoke of applies to me.I've sent out a couple of PM to couples and single ladies who state on their profile that they are looking for some problem here if i may speak for some single guy on SH is that most profiles are miss leading and most single ladies (no offence intended) state on their profile that they are only looking for to a guy is no emotional attachment is needed and that's why they get so many messages from single guys going straight to the point,for guys we see the color blue as blue and not dark blue,light blue or navy blue while ladies tend to see things in a different who have stated in their profile that they are not just looking for a one nighter or a quickie get a well composed message from me and we've gotten to chatting a few occasions.
Love your advice and would definitely work on some of the issues which involves me as a single guy .Thanks

you are more than welcome. Glad I can be some help some of the time ;)
And Jazz yes I'll answer your next dilemma soon.
Cheers

25 May 2012

Quote by Jazz_10
See Baa this is why you cant leave us ..... as always you deal with things with a splash of humor and some great advice ....
Now ..... seeing as we always have the Sydney V Melb challenge's ... Lets see come July who parties harder :)
hhhhmmmm now as for advice ..... here's a giggle for you ...... why do guys who are dating a straight girl think that putting girl on girl porn on will have any affect on a straight woman?
We had this discussion of coffee the other day and thought you'd have fun with it :)

Ahh Jazz .. guys and their lesbian girl fantasies .. where do I start ..
Well I think there is a train of thought amongst some guys that its easier for a girl to find another girl attractive than for a guy to find another guy attractive .. logic being women are such gorgeous and beautiful that why wouldn't even a straight woman be tempted by another woman. Whereas with guys its hard to find the plumber fixing your drain with bum crack and a hint of body odour attractive.
The other is obviously that males tend to think for themselves and not primarily for the desires and wants of their partner .. so their fantasy seems quite logical and they believe that if you blatantly place a straight girl in front of some hot lesbian porn then .. bang ... magic .. straight girl becomes overnight carpet muncher and the guy gets to have a girl on his dick and one on his face .
And finally some guys have an almost warped relationship with pornography .. some get so used to it and the subliminal messaging that porn reality doesnt seem so far fetched .. hey every pool cleaner gets laid when they clean the pool of a bored suburban house wife .. so therefore it follows that you can convince your straight girlfriend by watching porn that having a bisexual experience and bowing down to your male partner's desire is just the norm ...
I have a laugh at the above .. but you know what some of it actually is the truth ... unfortunately
Cheers
Dr Baa

27 May 2012

Awesome Baa smile

so much of what you say is true wink

.... done with your usual humor ..... love it ... Thank You! Now I need to think of another challenge for you!!!

8 Jun 2012

What would be written on them? I find myself pondering this great mystery oh wonderous and wise baabaa - and need your insight and wisdom to calm my curious mind. (Of course, your vast experience of these establishments could also come in handy) lol

29 Jun 2012

Quote by PeekaBooWeeSeeU
What would be written on them?
I find myself pondering this great mystery oh wonderous and wise baabaa - and need your insight and wisdom to calm my curious mind. (Of course, your vast experience of these establishments could also come in handy)

simple .. baa "manwhore" waz 'ere ... came and left a happy man smile

9 Jul 2012

Baabaa5, Is is wiser to meet with a guy alot older than me in a local $200 a night motel, or paying roughly the same amount to fly to Sydney (return) to meet a girl my own age? SM

13 Jul 2012

Quote by smartmonkey
Baabaa5,
Is is wiser to meet with a guy alot older than me in a local $200 a night motel, or paying roughly the same amount to fly to Sydney (return) to meet a girl my own age?
SM

A wise man finds a solution for both problems ... fly down to the girl first ....
now why do you really need a $200 night hotel room for the older guy ... and why should you pay for all the costs
If you really both want to meet it should be a shared cost at least .. if you want it all there is always a way

29 Jul 2012

Hi baa I have been married for six years but with the same guy for nearly 9.... I am really dying to fuck other men AND women... so many people to do yet so little time. We have two very small children.... how do you suggest we make the most of enjoying the pleasure of others peoples company? Thank you. P.S. Do you do house calls?

30 Jul 2012

Oh Happywife
Where do I start .. well I'm glad you have reached out and sought help for your problem.
No don't you going dying on me now as that would be an incredible waste of rich potential ... I would treat your condition with a number of solutions:
Find below a prescription to your ills - now take note and follow to the letter:
- Take a nice warm bath and ensure that you are relaxed and your mind is clear and open
- Ensure that you find the appropriate sexy attire and lay down on a comfortable bed
- Now imagine your perfect combination of sexual partner (s) .. mmf, mfmf etc.
- Now its time to let yourself be the centre of attention - but at the same time you need to hand over some control
- select either a blind fold or perhaps some restraint
- Let your partner(s) caress your body with their hands and mouths
- Let your body fall into the moment ..
- Now let your imagination run free ..
- Enjoy
Now I will issue a number of repeats and if you wish I can do complimentary house calls to demonstrate a number of other techniques.
This requires immediate attention and should not be neglected further ..
Dr baa

Quote by thehappywife
Hi baa
I have been married for six years but with the same guy for nearly 9.... I am really dying to fuck other men AND women... so many people to do yet so little time. We have two very small children.... how do you suggest we make the most of enjoying the pleasure of others peoples company?
Thank you.
P.S. Do you do house calls?

5 Aug 2012

Hi i am an 18 year old male virgin bi-sexual, i am on here to relieve me of my sexual fustration. I am only concerned with having sex with people over 30 years old but the thing that concerns me is that i have no age limit i would have sex with an 80 year old man and a 70 year old woman if i was asked to. Is this weird?? HELP

6 Aug 2012

Quote by snowy477
Hi i am an 18 year old male virgin bi-sexual, i am on here to relieve me of my sexual fustration. I am only concerned with having sex with people over 30 years old but the thing that concerns me is that i have no age limit i would have sex with an 80 year old man and a 70 year old woman if i was asked to. Is this weird?? HELP

Well my friend ... oh to be young and a virgin again ... then again I'd rather not
Well to your problem .... sex should have no boundaries or age limits .. the folly of youth is that they only realise this later in life .. and wonder why they did not act on their urges when they could.
You have much to look forward to in your journey so enjoy it all .. and if you chose to lose your virginity to either and 80 year old man or 70 year old woman ... be sure to post the details here. I just hope you can handle them .. and make sure the medics are on standby
I also find it interesting that at 18 you have found this site and are looking at options to lose your virginity .. I am also sure that there are few on here that would be more than willing to help ;)

4 Nov 2012

Been a long time between drinks ... I assume we are all sorted and there are no problems to be solved ... Alas .. my thread lived a good life but all things do die sad

4 Nov 2012

Well, actually baa, I do have a little conundrum. Does anyone ever 'spring clean' their friends list on SH? And, if so, how do you decide who stays and who goes? Do you remove somebody who hasn't been on the site for a while, but who you corresponded with frequently and met with? But they have given no indication that they have ''left' the site or reason for their absence. What about people who have just stopped conversing with you? Or even someone that you became friends with after a fun night of chat, but haven't chatted with since, maybe for months? Some would never be removed - regardless of the length of time between chat. But, baa, if you are finishing the thread, could you please help with this one last question? Ms A

5 Nov 2012

Well I must say I need to get my brain ticking again ... Let's take my honest viewpoint ... Which in no way is an indicator of what is normal but perhaps gives you food for thought. Currently I have 50 friends on my list ... 20 of whom I've met personally ... There are probably another 5 who I have the intention of meeting in the near future .... So that makes 50% of friends who I consider my core group ... You then have probably 10 or so from interstate who if I had the time and better proximity I would love to meet. The balance are made up of people who I either enjoy chatting to regularly, share a common interest or have in some way connected with me. There is of course then the people on the list who are ... "I wish" I knew better but know I'm unlikely to meet ... I keep these in the faint glimmer of hope section. And then there are the ....hmmm when did I last speak to them list ... Or do I know them at all ... Well yes I have culled my list occasionally and have even thought of a drastic cull ... But at the end of the day this is after all a swingers site and the definition of a friends list varies from person to person. I'm sure I've been deleted too and haven't been worried. I don't think people intend to inflict hurt when they defriend and for some they are totally ok to have a list of 300+ I think at the end of the day you do know who your real friends are ... On the list or not ... Hey there are some people I chat too a lot and haven't even thought of adding them to my list ... Why ? ... I think because I already consider them as friends.