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Warming the Bed
i was reding way this morning and came across this gawd i still cn't stop laughing
It's the eternal quest: How do you increase the size, strength and stamina of your erections? There are endless treatments, ointments and devices claiming to pump up your volume, but precious few solutions hold any water. The reality is that we're blessed (or possibly cursed) with whatever God gave us. But if you follow the realistic tips that follow, you can maximize your erection on all fronts.
These tips could come in handy when you know in advance that you're going to have sex, as you'll be well-informed and prepared. You can make your penis go the distance instead of being a "one and done" guy.
NUMBER 10 : EAT WELL. One of the keys to a healthy erection is a healthy diet. You don't want to be loading up on heavy foods or difficult-to-digest meals if you know an intimate moment is in your near future.
NUMBER 9 : GET POSITIONED PROPERLY Setting yourself up on the right position can enhance and maximize the size of your erection.
NUMBER 8: CALM YOUR NERVES The more relaxed and comfortable you are in the moment, the stiffer and stronger your member will be.
NUMBER 7: LIMIT YOUR SENSITIVITY TO GO LONGER The classic way to limit over-sensitivity is to wear a condom, which you should be doing anyway in a lot of cases. If you don't need to wear a condom with your woman, you can try focusing on other things. Periodically take yourself out of the scene mentally if you think you're going to lose control. The trick is to transport your mind away just long enough to avoid ejaculating too early -- but not lose your erection.
NUMBER 6: TRY A DEVICE Most penis enlargement devices are painful, scary and terribly ineffective. There are, however, always those faithful who claim these extreme techniques give them big results. The safest and best bet amongst these is the ever-dependable penis ring. This is a little rubber or plastic ring you place at the base of your penis to trap blood inside -- kind of like tying off a balloon. This won't make you bigger, but it will make your penis firmer.
NUMBER 5: MANAGE ANY MEDICATION YOU ARE ON Medication for some ailments such as depression, social phobia, OCD, and anxiety are more and more common these days. But unfortunately, these medicines are murder on your erection. If you're on these types of drugs, work with your doctor to make sure you're not over-medicated -- or it's goodbye, sex life.
NUMBER 4: SAVE YOUR STRENGHT Don't tire yourself out too quickly in the sack. If you exhaust yourself, your erection is going to feel like a marshmallow. Know your limits.
NUMBER 3: EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE Do abdominal exercises. This will help your abdominal muscles support and hold your erection, as opposed to holding your belly. Furthermore, if you have a large gut, it tends to make your unit small by comparison. Being in shape and having a good physique will make you feel good about yourself and up your confidence. This will, in turn, make you comfortable with your body, enticing you to have sex and increasing your sex drive. You can also give your penis a workout with some Kegel exercises. While there's no hard evidence that they will produce a larger size, they will help you stay hard longer.
NUMBER 2: DON'T SMOKE AND DRINK TO EXCESS Smoking cigarettes gives you bad circulation. And when you want to get down, the blood's gotta be flowing. So there's one more reason to quit. Drinking too much alcohol numbs your wiener and can inflate your prostate. So don't overdo the alcohol if you don't want to under-do the lovemaking.
NUMBER 1: DON'T MASTURBATE TO OFTEN (roflmfao) You want to save your money-shot for Miss Right, not Mr. Five Fingers. If you ever needed an excuse not to masturbate, that's it. This calls for a little self-control -- and most of us have that, right?
omfg someone hand me a tissue to wipe my tears of laughter
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