Probably most people on this site are more than likely very happy and comfortable with their sex lives and probably will not care about this story, but if it helps out any individuals or couple regardless of their sexual preference then it is worth telling. A few years ago I suffered crippling depression and when combine with the medications I was taking I stopped all physical contact with my long term partner. There was no intimacy, affection or caring for an extended period of time. Eventually I researched if there was anyway of fixing this problem. It turns out that there is, basically you just have to trick your brain. The normal sexual response is - a stimulus is detected by one or more of your senses, the stimulus/stimuli is assessed for its sexual content and the brain determines if we should respond or not respond. If our brain decides to respond then the reward centre of the brain will release the neurotransmitter (brain chemical) dopamine. Dopamine represents desire and once dopamine has been released then arousal process begins and blood and hormones cause all sorts of changes to your body in preparation for a sexual encounter. Sexual response = stimulus response to stimulus desire arousal sexual encounter What happens when there is a stimulus, it is deemed to be sexual, your brain wants to proceed but there is no desire and no dopamine is released. You need desire before you can become aroused. I found through research that it is possible to start the arousal process first, then the stimulus, then you want to act and then you have desire that causes dopamine to be released which leads to full arousal. The magic undies/panties process started with two people who could not really be bothered. Female was laying face on the bed with nothing but her new panties on. Male plays sensual happy ending massage on his computer. He followed the massage that was taken place on the screen whilst his partner watched. Started at neck, down her back to her bum, then feet up the leg massaging the top and inside of the leg. The higher up the leg you massage, the wider the leads open. Then a butt massage followed by a pussy massage through the fabric. Then once she is ready she will roll over. On the front there was a combination of teasing with the lips and tongue whilst continuing to massage down to the top of the panties. Then back down to the feet and up the legs, paying particular attention to har inner thighs. Then it is time to do everything you can to get her to take those panties off. Massaging the pussy, licking all around the elastic, tracing your fingers around the elastic and then lightly massaging that hot wet gap that has formed at the front of her panties. Evententually she moves her feet closer to her bum and lifts her bum off the bed and removes her moist panties. Just when you think it is time to start she tells you to lick all the way her pussy. Up one pussy lip , across her pubic bone, down the other pussy lip and up and down her perineum. Now do it again but this time I want you to lick around my vaginal opening. By this time I was starting to go a little crazy. If you have ever a video of a dog sitting there with a treat on his nose and he is not allowed to eat it, well that is how I felt. I was waiting for the 'eat me' command. The massage undies routine gets used occasionally, just to make sure that she is fully aroused and she is in charge on when her undies are removed. I am fairly positive that she gets off being in total control. She determines when her panties come off and I cannot taste her pussy until she gives the command of 'eat me'. Obviously when you aware that you have just given your partner something that she really enjoyed, it is not difficult for you to be able get that little extra bit of satisfaction yourself. James